Saturday, April 17, 2010

Tea Party

So many things here on the blog and in the general media take on a pessimistic tone these days, so when I went to the Tea Party rally on tax day this past Thursday, my mind started to wander. I got a little drunk on the whole vibe (man).

I had never been surrounded by so many people who loved, lived, breathed, and sucked up liberty as their life force, ever in my whole life. There was probably a couple of thousand real middle class workers who listened and cheered speakers from the Tea Party as they spoke about our plans for a velvet revolution.

Yeah, most of the folk were white, and coupled up, but there were a smattering of blacks, gay looking peeps, mis-fits, fits, a few homeless looking people (I had no change...damn!) all of them citizens gone wild, clapping and yelling and yaying as the platform people spoke about taking back the country from our minders in ObamaLand.


They all knew what I knew. That we never gave it to them to wreck in the first place. No one that I knew, even those who voted for Our Dear Leader either out of disgust for the Republican lies and spendthriftery, or who thought "hey give this guy a chance...he can't be worse than Bush" believed we could go so far down, away, and out of the orbit of the Constitution so fast. But boy, did we!

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I was sucking up the rarefied air of liberty from all the people who loved liberty, appreciated capitalism as the only moral economic system (as the only one that does not require the use of force) and were not afraid to shout it from the roof tops. Gee whiz, if we'd only had some roof tops! I think there may have been some people there who understood the concept of individualism better then me (but how could that be!). For two hours on Thursday, I was living in a world of peaceful, freedom loving hoot and hollerin' regular like folks. Like in Mayberry.

BARNEY FOR PRESIDENT!

At least he was inept. That's where they go, you know. The ept have jobs and families, and run companies, and make money, love and peace. The inept like to govern the ept.

The best speaker by far was a middle aged black preacher from somewhere around here, who was UNAFRAID to take the President and his soldiers to task. He spoke like Martin Luther King, except better and more honestly. I wish he had said "free at last, free at last, great God all mighty, we're free at last"! I give him all props due him. And more black people, Jews (my people) gays, apoliticalites, hermaphrodites, and any and all who once thought that the state was the way to change people and that liberals were blessed by God, will follow him, us, to this November, and the next and the next, and the next. Until this little freedom movement that started in the 50's among conservatives and radical capitalists (libertarians) gets the country out of the clutches of the ones who hate what America once stood for, and deliver us back into the hands of the real Freedom Riders.

With liberty and justice for every one of us.

You don't think we can ever again have a free country? That it's too late for all that? Go to a Tea Party. We are a country of people who are finally sticking our heads up and out of our comfort holes and getting wise.

Get wise, dudes.

Joe

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Consider This

Take a break and consider this. No I'm not losing my religion (I'm a Jew, so my standing is in flux as far as God is concerned) but I've been thinking a lot about our ongoing financial crisis (which like all crisis will go on forever in some kind of makeup).

"Blame Fingers", on every tv, radio, and newspaper show point the finger to either the government, the greedy banks who didn't care what kind of money you made, as long as they could throw money out of the window to get you in a nice little house, Wall Street playboys who supposedly cut up all of these sophisticated loans, spread them all over Luxembourg and all get out, to people who did not read the papers, and trusted American moneybag men to make them rich with a wink and a smile.

My head is about to explode. I listen to radio much of the day, read the magazines and papers, and even I cannot wrap my winkie around all of this information.

Perhaps a modest suggestion, or perhaps better said an idea from me, who does not understand the markets as the heads on tv explain them, but, well you've known me long enough...if you sit down, hold my head, and explain something in easy to understand terms and in English, there's a good chance I might get it.

Let's go back to "consider this". What if all of the banks, stock brokers, mortgage bankers, and all of the other companies who shake you down and pump you up had NO EXPECTATION OF GOVERNMENT REGULATION OR BAILOUTS EVER AGAIN?

I'm saying this. Our minders, all of them would say that monopolies are bad, yet the world of government regulation and the people who populate these bodies is small enough to fit inside Ed Sullivan's crypt, with room enough left over for Mom Mabley's teeth, and Art Linkletter's stroke.

Strike all that. Think big outside the little baby box that government and liberal analysts give us to come up with neat new ways of this shit never happening again. I think I've heard that cool "never happen again" a few times in the last few winks. But it always happens again. When a government agency fails to do its "job" what do government agencies suggest? Give us more money and power so we can wreck things even better next time. They don't say that. They want more money because they truly believe that with more authority to pick our pockets (I'm down to lint) they can make sure that next time we're in the clear.

If a private company failed to undertake it's undertakings like the Feds do, do you suppose we would hear calls from Congress for more power for the private sector! Only the private sector can save us now!

Help! Help!

The government must scoot away from hammering away at this notion that only they can protect the people from the greedy (fill in the blank).

Now...get out of that box. The coporations and the banks and all of those fella's with our money must not have the only institution with a legal monopoly on the use of force to make sure they're being honest. It is now time to enter a new world. That is the world of private, free market regulation. That is where those that are regulated are not all gayed up with the G-Men, but are subject to the authority of a much better and more efficient authority; the private market of regulation.

Just like Consumer Reports takes no money from those that it reports on, but rather from the millions who buy and read its publications, and the millions who, in a free market of consumerism, decide what they can eat by relying on the Kosher authorities who regulate the food manufacturers, and thumb their nose at the government. Because the kosher regulators, the Consumer Reports and others just like them have built up a reservoir of trust and good will over the decades and centuries.
People trust them. Not the state. We need to free the system of regulation from the government, and hand it over to a panoply of private companies, who have every incentive that the statists do not.

To retain the trust of their customers.

And it would not be a bad idea to look up when you throw your money to a broker.

Joey Postove

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Boy Do We Need Our Thumbs

This week, I mashed my left thumb between two big truck drums at work. These ladies weigh about 150 pounds each, and when I caught my little handdick between them, it screamed, and gushed blood, till it could gush no more. I hate to gush.

I took the thumb to the worker's comp doctor (somehow I see this as a future "public option" when the bosses start adding on extras to DeathCare) and he patched it up, stroked it, put a little dress on it, kissed it and made it all better, and told me to get back to work, some more truck drums were coming in.

It really hurt for about two days, but since it was my left thumb and not my main one, I was able to...well, I was..well for Christ sake, you figure it out. I could still have thumb parties with my useful handdick, so all was not lost. Though I did lose some seeds.

Yesterday, the doctor (who somehow, miraculously, was the SAME one I saw on Monday...the day of the tragedy) and he said I was good to go, and gave me a penny for the gumball machine after my haircut.

I like these little "Doc In The Box" places where you can go for little hurtin's, but I have been there before, and it is quite like I have never been there before. You know the look. "Who the hell are you, what are you doing here, fill out this exact same form you filled out yesterday, and sit in that non-assable chair for a couple of hours. Then, if we can squeeze your shit in, baby, maybe the doctor will see you. Or maybe you'll die. Your call, bitch".

If we can't stop the DeathCare express from gathering even more steam, then I expect we'll all have our own little doc in the box.

What DO they call someone who finishes last in medical school?

Next time: If I die, call my Mom.

Joe


Saturday, April 03, 2010

April Fool's!

I'm about two days late with this, but my grandma was once two days late, and thus I was, 39 years later borned to this world.

Yeah, this world. I love it so, yet I hate most of the people. And I know this is not polite, as I have not met hardly any of them. But I'll bet they're trash. But I don't know, so I'll just hate those that I know. And you know who you are.

I can't put my finger on it (though I have probably put my hands on it a couple of million times) but things seem to be getting harder. I can't find "Ben And Jerry's" Heath Bar Crunch yogurt, only the ice cream kind. What the hell is going on? I can understand not being able to find Urine ice cream, or Doo Doo pancakes, but for years and years Heath Bar Yogurt has been so good to me, and I love it, and cuddle it, and lick it off the spoon. Also I kiss the box it comes in, and cry when I have finished it all. What do Ben and Jerry want from me? It's not like I'm asking for "Kosher For Passover" shit and all.

I guess I'm depressed. I gotta work, but I hate my job. I hate my job, but I gotta eat, I gotta eat, but...well I couldn't go any further with that. It would be endless, and only my main peeps would read anything I wrote that was endless.

Have a nice Easter, Christ babies. Eat a pig roast at Aunt Bee's after Church. And most of all, LOVE ME!

LOVE ME!

Joey Postove (6 1/2 years old)



Thursday, April 01, 2010

Spring Is Here

Yes, spring has sprung, and we all will now twist.

I've been working very hard this week so I haven't had much energy to blog and shit. Well, I have done more of the latter than the former, because #2 is covered by DeathCare, I think.

I got a notice from the National Board Of Medicine today that if I intend to do operations at my pay toilet locations, then I come under the National Act Of Sacrifice, which means all the extras that I provide at the stalls (corner of Church and Nebraska in downtown Norfolk) will now be under regulation by rectal doctors, penis men and vagina specialists.

I DEFY THE LAW! I have in over five years of providing a clean, cool, and very much needed service downtown also done so much more. You could read more about this is my autobiography "I'm The Shit Man" published by the "Ladies Home Companion Book Club", but here is the gist:

I, of course have the cleanest and most exciting Pay Toilets in the southeastern sector of Virginia. Plus I have done thousands of circumcisions, shaves, rectal thermometer testing (all turned out ok, too. I have a guy named Easy who checks most of the rectal thermometers in the United States, and he is very pleased). I also serve full course meals in and out of the pay stalls, we have orchestra night every Saturday, we donate our waste products (pee and shit) to needy countries throughout the world, plus we have surgeons standing by in case of rectal or bladder emergencies.

I am proud of what we have done with this industry, and the attempts by the Obama administration to stamp us out (and if they try it again, I have something in a bag for them...a nice hot foot if the government dares to come out the front door...I'll run though) are illegal and immoral.

Can't we all just get along? I had planned to add a dentist to the toilets, but now, with who knows what will happen with National DeathCare, I just don't know what to do.

I'm just a poor man. A man trying to eke out a living in this very competitive Pay Toilet business. We have, over the years added stalls for hermaphrodites, gays, semi gays, trans, bi's, regulars, midgets, and special toilets for those who feel lost. Lost in a society that just doesn't seem to care anymore.

I feel so lost. I feel socialism will eventually make all of us in Norfolk crap in our pants. What a shame. What a waste. When we can do so much and make big money selling hot dogs too, I think this nation has turned a corner. Down oneway street, where there are no pay toilets, and thus a far less special world.

This is not the America I have known.

Joe Postove