Libertarianism And Things

A Beer?

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:13:00 +0000

Maybe it's time for the American people to sit down with the President and have a beer. We could get together in the White House billiard room, have a few rounds, and maybe fix Mr. Obama up with some new ideas.

Well, I'm not gonna fish there. The President seems to think that once we seal the skies from the threat of terrorists, then we're doin' pretty good. Cozy, like Mr. Obama feels when he takes a whiz in the Presidential Urinal. That's tops. But back to work...Al Qaeda ( you try to spell it!) may be the worst evil doers on Earth, but they are not stupid. In fact, according to my records they come in ahead of most of congress and a couple of presidents. These guys are slick, and we guys are slow.

Do we, as a nation, really think that we are gonna get secure in the air by having the minimum wage guards at the airport gate get to see me unclothed? I don't even like to see me naked. You want a national emergency, get a good look...if you can! I ain't letting some gay Latino with a badge pursue my goodies for the sake of national security.

GD it! You know damn well that this whole thing is bogus. Is getting a bomb into a plane the ONLY way for our enemies to kill a lot of people at one time? C'mon, girls, the second largest act of terrorism on American soil was in Oklahoma City in 1995, committed by a veteran of the military, and he blew up the federal building there with fertilizer, turds, and some cereal coupons.

Only a simple boy would believe that once we secure our air space to the point that child porn lovers are going to be the main applicants for the security jobs, that then Al Qaeda will stick bombs up their collective ass to avoid the x-ray machine. Besides, by the time we get that up and working, they'll have some gay scientists teach us how to look up people cracks, and get a good long look. What a wretched world. Lord!

Trains, movies, football games, Time Square, buses, churches, gee whiz, how many examples do you need for me to show you just when and where the Muslim extremists can go and do major killing.

I can hear Osama Bin Laden saying to his lover right now "FUCK THE PLANES"!. And he would be right. The less bad stuff going up the asses into the planes of America, the more you ought to know that Al Qaeda has moved on. If we don't find it, it doesn't mean it's gone away.

They don't need no stinking planes to kill lots of Americans.

We do need a beer with the Prez to get his mind straight on this here thing.

God save us all.

Think hard.

Joe Postove

2010

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 16:57:00 +0000

This is it, folks. A whole new decade is about to roar in. Are you ready? Those of us who believe what the American constitution says, and in the maximisation of liberty for individuals have our work cut out for us. If our hearts are not cut out first.

These are sad and trying days. But this is a time for individualists to work together to hold back the red tide of collectivism that our Dear Leader and his fellow travelers will bring to this nation, and we'll have to get our hands and hides dirty. Good and dirty. H. L. Mencken said "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard". Is this what we want? Is this the legacy we leave? Goddamn, I can barely believe we are at the threshold.

The talking heads of tubeland are saying that the health bill that will probably come out of Congress is a massive compromise and much less than DL (Dear leader) wanted to begin with.

Begin with are two important words. Because once even a little bill becomes a little law, the collectivists in government will proclaim their disappointment...but, however, then announce that this is a GOOD FIRST STEP! They are three words that have murdered the liberties of the citizenry for generations, so my friends, take these people seriously when they pop out of the White house after the bill signing (God forbid God forbid God forbid God forbid God forbid...fingers and toes crossed). If the Congress pushes out a bill that will force all to have health insurance, whether they want it or not, puts the insurance companies in the big vice grip that our minders have in their torture chamber (the floor of Congress...plus the insurance companies, like many Capitalists who will sell the rope that will hang them are pretty much going along) the first words out of our Dear Leader's lips will be (I guarantee you) "this is a good first step".

Fight the good fight, libertarians and conservatives who haven't forgotten liberty. We need, as citizens to not only beat this monster back, but put up the alternative of a free marketplace for medicine, where the patient rules his health, and doctors on down the food chain of medicine are our advisers and helpers, but never...NEVER our minders.

Unless you are prepared to put your very life into the hands of people like Nancy Pelosi, Henry Reid, and of course Barack Obama, then we have to cut off this politicalization of medicine at its knees (which isn't covered in the new plan anyhow) and propose ideas for a free market in medicine (the subject for another post).

If we can separate the state from religion, if T. Jefferson preferred a state of newspapers over a state of government, and thus today freedom of the press is as nearly as pure and universal in this country as mother's best, we must make the POSITIVE case for the separation of the state from medicine.

That would be a GOOD FIRST STEP towards a separation of the state from EVERYTHING!

Thanks, comrade, if you read all of that. It's the new year, and I wanted to start out with some muscle.

Joe Postove

Is It New Year's Yet?

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 21:58:00 +0000

I'm getting damn tired of waiting for 2010. Every year at this time, all we do is sit and wait and look at the clock hoping that midnight comes and Guy Lombardo comes back to life (wouldn't that be smashing!?)

I've already wished many of you a Happy New Year (you others know who you are) so I won't figure eight that routine again tonight. Besides, I'm off from work at the work house tomorrow, and I should have time to come to this public computer (who knows where the hands of the person who used it before me have been...but we move along).

Now don't forget, the plan is to gather at the gas station across the street from my apartment about quarter til midnight to celebrate the big hoo-haw. I hope you bumpkins can stay awake that long. NO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY, Sadie!

There will be an open bar at the Yoo-Hoo machine, which also carries Upper Ten, Nee-Hi Grape and Orange, Uncle Don's Spit Cola, and maybe one or two other drinks. All I know, whenever I get a drink there I put my dime in at the Yoo-Hoo slot, and chug it down. I ain't responsible for drunk driving, unless I'm at the wheel. Then, unless I can scoot over and make like you were driving, I'll take the rap. But I know the cops, and maybe I'll offer you up (you're a woman, right?) and we'll be free and on our way.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Don't worry about anything. I'll probably be here tomorrow, and give you more info on the party plans. Until then, I'll be home asleep.

Love,

Joey

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:45:00 +0000

Friday is New Years Day, and I might not get to a public facility to post my most precious New Year's greetings to you and yours and the people who live with you, the bum at the 7/11, grandma, your ex-wife, and my Jews.

It is a different night, New Years Eve, than it was when my parents would get so goddamned dressed up, I thought maybe they were leaving home for good, maybe to make it in Vegas. My Mom would wear a beautiful sequin gown, having had her hair done that afternoon (wash, set, comb out, whatever else the girls do in the beauty parlor, and look like Elizabeth Taylor).

Dad, who was a locksmith and came home filthy most nights (Mom made him bathe before supper) because he worked 10 hours a day to make a living for a wife and four kids who spent money like he was old money. I mean we spent the money he earned in that little key shop like the gravy train would never end.

Back to New Year's Eve. The old man would put on his finest suit (he had THREE!), take a long bath, then a shower, put on some of that cologne Mom gave him for his last birthday, and when both were ready to leave, they looked like movie stars. I really want to say MF'n movie stars, but both parents are dead, and c'mon...respect, dudes!

And once the baby-sitter arrived, Ma and Pa Hollywood would kiss us goodnight, tell the girl we could stay up until midnight to watch the ball in Times Square, then it was off to bed. She was usually asleep before then (we had ugly baby-sitters who couldn't get a date) and my little sister and me would stay up past Midnight, watch Johnny, or even Guy Lombardo, and then drift off to near death, in case some madman came into the house. After all the stupid baby-sitter was asleep. We could have been killed every year, for pete's sake, Goddamn it!

I don't know what time the folks got home. Sometimes I would wake up a little, and hear them trying to make it up the stairs (Dad wasn't much of a drinker..or dancer, come to think of it. I wonder what the hell he did at the country club?). But Mom, would kick out the jams on New Year's, and I don't think she was ready for the new year until about the third of January. But she loved the holiday. And I miss it.

What do we do now that we're older than our folks were in their prime? Fall asleep about ten, masturbate to the radio (tv is broken) and pee in bed, just for old times sake.

We don't celebrate like they used too.

Happy New Year, my dear friends (and enemies..what the hell, it's New Year's!). Let's hope 2010 is a shorter year than 2009. This one was a stone M.....

See y'all in hell.

Joe Postove

Airplane Shenanigans

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:09:00 +0000

We came pretty close to tragedy on Christmas Day when Hassan Barbara Fink nearly blew down a plane over Detroit. I used three names from our three major religions, so that you would understand that we have to be liberal at this time, and I forgot the guys name anyway.

Now, I ain't saying, but would a bomb blast in downtown Detroit have been page one? I mean how do you tell the newly bombed out sections from the old ones? I would't want anyone to get killed or even hurt, but maybe this guy could have done a public service by clearing more of Mo-Town for urban renewal.

I don't really want that. It was just a sick nightmare that I wrote here on the blog. Call a cop, if you think it'll help. Thank God everyone got down safely and that we caught the miscreant. He's in a federal pen now, awaiting indictment, which should come sometime this century.

Now the bigger question, and President Obama was right on top of it today in a news conference held at his hideaway at the Hawaii Motel 6. I didn't hear it, but I did hear the news capsule of it "more diligence, and lasers, and full body cavity searches, and blah de blah, more money and we're on top of it". And I think he was pissed that he wasn't on the plane to prevent it himself. That was the jist of it anyway.

Perhaps now the time has come for us to put away the childish things of youth, and get this wagon train rolling with some REAL national security. Ladies, we cannot afford to fuck around anymore. We need a total revision of airline and airport security, and I think my plan is the only one worth considering (unless you have a better one, then we'll take a look at that at next week's pick-nik for former homosexuals).

Flying will from now on become less a way to travel than a method to show your patriotism to our homeland. When you get to the airport, men and women will be divided into two sections (the groups, not the individuals, you simp). Once the sexes are in an enclosed place, they will be requested by our boys with machine guns to disrobe, put all of your stuff (panties, jockstaps, brassieres, neckties, balloon pants, and simple pantaloons, hats) and all other clothing into a garbage bag (don't forget your twist ties folks...the government is NOT responsible for twist ties) mark it with your magic marker, and toss it into the communal hole.

Then, you will be given a very comfortable airplane suit made of cotton and left over wool from last year's sheep shearing to wear during the flight.

DO NOT BE AFRAID! DO NOT BE AFRAID!

Although the suits will not have any kind of zippers or buttons (for #1 or #2) this is for your own protection. A madman could, at anytime, stick a bomb in his airplane suit, and then, if he had a zipper, could take it out mid-flight and wreck all our plans. If during the flight you need to go, then a trained nurse will take you to a bomb proof section of the plane, whereupon, you will be able to pee pee, or move your bowels as much as you want. Please don't forget your dime! Afterwards, a trained intern will, uh, clean you (we cannot allow you to put your hands where we can't see them, so that's why the intern will have to wipe you, in case it's a #2....#1's, unless you are a leaker require no further aid). Then you put your cool airplane threads back on, and enjoy the rest of the flight.

This is the future of air travel. It could be worse. Give me some time to think how, huh?

Joe Postove

MERRY CHRISTMAS

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:38:00 +0000

We had our annual Christmas party at the auto warehouse where I now hang my head. We had the usual cheap eats like sub sandwiches, chili, potato salad, macaroni salad, chips, cake, cold drinks...you know, the kind of things that has gotten my sphincter muscles all excited. I'm posting this at the pinball machine at the bowling alley downtown, and even though I own the pay toilets here, I don't have my keys and I ain't got a dime. Man am I am roiling!

I may not be able to get to a public computer tomorrow to wish all of you and your families a mighty mighty Christmas, so I wanted to do it tonight before I go into seclusion with my brother Jews.

I'll probably spend Christmas the tradional way, alone, in my apartment (which is across the street from the gas station), with the shades drawn, and the lights out. We'un's don't think its a great idea to be out there too much on this, your holy day of Christ's birth, when we were the guys who offed him (or at least we told some other guys where he was). I'll probably get drunk and when evening comes go pis in some of the empty Salvation Army buckets (there's nothing wrong with that, by the way...they spend the money before Christmas anyhow, for your bums and such, so what's a little urine between religions?).

Sometimes I wish we Jews had a really good holiday like you guys. But what with your turkeys and hams and cranberry sauce, and stuffing, not to mention mashed potatos, corn on and off the cob, pies of all kinds, I well expect to do extra good business at my pay toilets in downtown Norfolk come Christmas afternoon.

Remember, we're at the corner of Church and Nebraska streets, right across from my Whorehouse (which will be closed for the holidays). Dime after dime will be flowing into my receptacle, and I will buy myself really nice for New Years (you should see the lines here then, with all of the drunks...I charge double AND get away with it!).

So go now and rest ye head on thy bed and wait for the day of saving grace that the birth of your savior meant to bring but had to go back to Heaven and pick up and bring back.

Two thousand years now Jesus.

Come back soon.

Lil' Joey Postove

A Jew Looks At Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:02:00 +0000

It's that time again. Time to wish all of my Christian friends a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And as a Jew, I never found this troubling. Sure I don't believe in Christ, and Santa disappointed me years ago AFTER I prayed to both Jesus and him to see if it might take.

Let's face it. Christmas is for Christians, and we Jews, no matter how nice we are about the whole thing, are ignored on Christmas Day. I see you Gentiles with your fancy new bikes and doll-babies, and X-Boxes, and all kinds of neat shit. Jews? Hannkkah? The only reason we have that dismal "winter festival" is because about 100 years ago, some liberal Jews thought that the Yid Kids needed something to do, while you guys gorged on Christmas hams, jellies, and all those dirty non-kosher foods you feed your babies.

I may be too harsh. Christmas is a loving season, in which you celebrate the birth of the savior (the messiah) and joyously proclaim to the world peace on earth, and goodwill to men. Then on the 26th the shooting begins again. If Jews ran the world (and we don't...believe it folks, we don't...if we did, do you think we would let you kick our ass time after time?) we would still allow the pagans to keep their Christmas, but all toys would be confiscated, to be given to poor Jewish boys and girls around the world (yeah there are some...we ain't all pawn brokers and lawyers) and the Pope would have to give back the Yarmica. We all know he stole it from a Bar-Mitzvah we invited him to back in '61. Plus all good looking Christian woman between the ages of 18 and 50 would have to dance naked on the alter at the nearest synagogue. These are our terms. there will be no negotiation.

In closing, since time is a gaining on us, may I, from my family to you and your's, wish you the merriest of Christmas' and happiest of New Years. Another year, anther Christmas. Santa will have to fly over millions of Jewish homes to get to all the Christian one's. But this is the religion we have chosen, so I let it go.

Lil' Joey

Hi There After All This Time

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:27:00 +0000

I'll bet I lost all of my readers during my long layoff from blogging. I apologize to everyone.

I was watching tv at the gas station across the street from my apartment (the guys there are really nice, not Jewish though) and lost track of all time. That and monitoring my pay toilet chain in downtown Norfolk, and drinking Yoo-Hoo's left me more than distracted.

I also forgot my password. I wrote it down on a piece of paper that I intend to keep.

This coming year (2010) I hope to be back to libertarianism this and libertarianism that, especially with our Dear Leader dragging us down the road to socialism (there I said it!).

For now, I'll leave you with a Happy Hannukah and Merry Christmas, and promise that we'll see more of each other from now on.

Now, I gotta eat something. I only had yogurt and fruit for breakfast, so my stomach has a great need inside.

Amen.

Joe Postove

Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:58:00 +0000

I'm so glad you made it to 2009! So what are you gonna do now? We have to be on our best manners starting the 20th, and then if the new babysitter starts to get too funky with our stuff, I will make every effort to get back here, to the library, which is across the street from the gas station.

Not that any damn thing makes a difference now. It was long ago that the people of this republic figured how to hotwire the Treasury and make off with the wealth of the producers. Little Master Bush's creaming the last of the free market as he took his final bows, and getting a pretty nice free pass, shows that the people have given the thumbs up to socialism. We have have voted ourselves the keys to the Treasury, and vacuumed every crumb (except the politicians who continue to talk the freedom talk, but walk with the demons of collectivism).

America is yesterday. We have thrown all of the great ideas that made this a great nation overboard, and now we're French.

Oh God.

Is Fidel dead yet? Maybe the old anti-communists will be able to go back home soon, and turn Cuba into a capitalist paradise. Us? We're living on our fat, and reputation. You know...the "full faith and credit of the United States".

Please help me, my milkshake is coming through my nose.

Joe Postove (At the library...here comes the guard...bye!).

45 Years Ago Today

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 17:08:00 +0000

I was six, almost seven when, while waiting for the bus to take me home from first grade, the loudspeaker announced that President Kennedy had been killed in Dallas.

I knew it was bad. Being six though, I didn't gather the profound nature of it. After the announcement, we were told to stand for the national anthem. My teacher, the ever wonderful and beautiful Miss Brinson (who was all of 22, and if alive all these years later must be 67) stood next to me. She seemed like a giant next to my six year old body. But this this woman who everyone in my class loved (she brought Beatle records to class!) was shivering giant tears, uncontrollably.

Perhaps what I didn't realize two minutes before, I now knew. That a great man, a beloved man, had been murdered in the street. And those who knew of him, believers or not, could not help but cry copiously. I looked up at Miss Brinson as the anthem played, and as she cried, I began to as well. I was afraid. The young woman who was my strength and guide had lost hers.

I don't think we ever found our way back.

Joe Postove

Forward Looking

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 16:01:00 +0000

I still ain't got a new computer yet due to the depression. Maybe I need more xanax...huh?

But I have to go to the Library to entertain you (where I am now typing dervishly before the matron comes and takes me by the ear and casts me out of the building). You see, I voted Libertarian last week, and in the paper the next day I saw six other people (in my precinct) who also voted for Bob Barr. We could have had a pot party, if I knew where these last of the Goldwaterites kept their stash.

It is a depressing time for lovers of liberty. I only hope that President Obama thinks it's NOT time to party like its 1932. The socialists who supported him (he is not one, thank you) cannot wait to get their greasy, collectivist, full nelson on the economy and read the government back into a Rooseveltian style state.

In this week's "New Yorker" some members of Obama's upper staff could not think of a book that has influenced them as they take the reins of government. C'mon, ladies...read your history and do not become seduced by politicians of any stripe. This is not the ignorant 30's, when the people could be lead by the nose by a traitor to his class and all that the founders of this republic stood for.

No, this is the ignorant '00's, when people can be lead by the nose by double speak and promises of Leviathan solving the problems we now face. Kind of like new poison to save us from the old poison.

New boss, same as the old boss. Except...well, no except. George Bush was a disgrace to everything that was good, decent and smart. So we had to punish the GOP. They held Wall Street's hand so long that the love affair is now complete. The Republicans, who gained power this time around with a pseudo love of freedom and markets forgot who the enemy was. They have left us now with a groaner, and a hyper-socialistic theme to remember them by. And all we can do is wait for the Obama train, and hope. There is still a place called Hope.

Don't take your eyes off of them for a second. And remember that freedom works!

Like a bitch!

Joe Postove

Who Am I...Where Have I Been?

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 15:11:00 +0000

I got a call from a 500 pound man in Arkansas yesterday, asking me if I have given up my blog. I thought he might want to put up stakes here, so I told him, no, I am still big time in the blogging business, but my computer has had a minor hysterectomy, and is not all woman anymore.

For those of you who care, I haven't been blogging at all, cus, my nine year old piece of shit (my computer...no relatives...anybody looking?) has decided to put herself in hospice care, where she doesn't have to do anything, including work.

I'm still paying for my high speed connection because I can get and receive email, and speak on my Vonage voice and earmess, but I can't get to websites.

I'm posting this morning (on Shabbos, yet!) from a library. I think its a library anyway. All the books are chained to an old lady, and the toilets are 25 cents!

I just want my peeps to know that I am still alive (although I didn't shave this morning) and I shall return when my prospect's are better.

Have my prospect's ever gotten better? No. But, maybe I'll find a bag of money on the porch when I get home.

Love to the kids. Gotta go. The library guard has clicked his thumb thing on the gun, so I better move over some or I may be killed.

I hope to see you all soon at Comicon 21!

Joe Postove

New Shower Curtain Goes Up Today!

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:54:00 +0000

Let's face it. I don't have a lot going in my life, so later today when I install my new shower curtain, I will live on that accomplishment for a week. Some people are multi-taskers. They can juggle a bunch of stuff into a day's life and still get the kids home from soccer practice, fry up a decent dinner for the husband, and then sexulate him once the kids are asleep (I hope to God. Please...Let's keep America beautiful).

If I can plan to do one thing, I consider that a successful day. When I do the laundry, for example, I consider that the equivalent of writing a book. Other than going to work this morning to deliver my paper route (I deliver them to hotels, one at a time to the doors of the guests...No naked ladies trying to get ice under cover of ice bucket yet, but I will keep you updated) I cleared the decks today to make time to put up the shower curtain. Not that the decks were super full, but I did want to check the mail and watch tv, and I'll probably find the time to do them, but as God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again. And I'll put that thing up today.

My old shower curtain has one good ring left to it, and thus when I shower there is a tendency to get some water on the floor. It is not my fault, and my white landlord can claim otherwise, but I stand on my rights that as long as the shower curtain is tethered in some way to the pole that it resides on, I'm in the clear.

But I wanted a new shower curtain anyhow, so I went to the dollar store, which has so many fine goods for just a dollar. I buy all of my pastes, creams, pufferies, male solutions and other items there that I felt certain that they would have some kind of shower curtain, even if it was made in Iraq. As is the norm when I go to the dollar store to buy a thing, I end up with several necessities to go along with my original purchase. So on this trip I went wild (I had a ten dollar bill!) and bought some shaving cream, ice cream sandwich (deluxe!) a finger nail clipper, a bag of Cheetos, an Ozzie And Harriet DVD, and a nice sized tube of tooth paste. I admit, I went wild! But how often does one have ten dollars, right there in the dollar store? I could have bought TEN things!

Then I remembered why I was there. I asked one of the pathos who work there (nice ones, but I'd say recently released or on work release) about my shower curtain. She said that the truck from Formosa was late that month and they were out of stock. Now I know you cannot drive here from Formosa, so I looked aside, and in soto voce I called her a liar. My lips were on the side at this time, so she did not see my utter contempt for her. I left there with all my other good stuff very upset that I may have to pay full price for a shower curtain. I went to another store nearby that doesn't care what they charge for their goods, and saw a nice one with dolphins on it, for ten dollars. That was much more than I intended to pay, but if I didn't make a decision then and there, I would miss "Leave It To Beaver". And this I never do.

I cursed the checkout girl in a similar fashion to the dollar store cursing earlier, and took my shower curtain home. I also bought a new bath mat, and some towels. I think I should have done that in the dollar store. I have my curtain. Updates as they happen (after I put it up, I will test it to make sure it holds the water in).

Joe Postove

Slop Buckets And Morning Plop Plops

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:01:00 +0000

The gas station across the street from my apartment doesn't open until 7am, so I took my morning plop plops at the pay toilet down the hall from my apartment. Both stalls are a dime, and it would make more sense to shit in the pay hole down the hall, but now that the apartment house owner has added toilets for transexuals, bi, gay, men, women, and hermaphrodite's, plus extra toilets for undetermined sex, it gets really confused and crowded down there so I usually wait till 7 to crap in the gas station pay stall.

But I was having little doo doo babies this morning, so I needed to move all of my bowels in a hurry, about 5:30, so I used the pay toilet for men down the hall. I was sitting there grunting out the stool kids, and I got to thinking. I think we all know that some of our greatest ideas come while filling up a pay toilet with shit. Don't you agree?

I usually eat my breakfast from my slop bucket just after waking about 5:30. Being Jewish, I naturally have two sets of slop buckets, one for meat and one for milk. I used to mark one with an M for meat, and the other M for Milk. But that was confusing, since M is the same letter for both. So I crossed the M off of my milk bucket and drew a D for dairy. And so far I've been successful with this system.I usually fill my sloppers with all kinds of meat and dairy dishes that I filch from the samples they give away in supermarkets.

My meat bucket usually has some salami, chicken pupicks (I think that's the dick), old hamburger meat and other slip slops I find as I travel around town, sick to my stomach. My dairy slop bucket usally has milk from the breasts of homeless women at 7/11, ice cream sandwiches I steal from the Good Humor man (I usually stick my hand in the freezer while he tries to pick up a kid...the sicko) and other cool dairy products that are approved by the Kosher authorities.

So this morning while moving my bowels, I thought wouldn't it be fine if I could rig up a way to eat breakfast from my slop buckets and make my morning plop plops at the same time. I would gather everything the night before, and when I woke, I could either take my breakfast down to the pay toilet at the gas station or take my chances with the freaks in my apartment's shit hole.

In any event I could get maybe an extra 15 minutes of sleep, PLUS eat and shit at the same time!

I'll need time to think about this. What do you think?

Joe Postove

William F. Buckley RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:51:00 +0000

Bill Buckley died today, in his study, doing what he probably did best; writing. There will be plenty of time and days for fond reminisce, for the sadness of his leave-taking, and to do justice to this giant of two centuries as we mark his death.

But I'd like to tell my own Bill Buckley story. I had always been interested in politics. From the age of six, when my Mother gave me a book of bios of the presidents, I was hooked. As a youngster I saw it as great sport, and less, much less as ideology.

In 1964, about a week before the election I had followed with great interest with my six year old mind, I told my father Goldwater was a shoe in. I was also a smart ass very young. I knew that everyone in my parents circle was calling Goldwater crazy (in your gut you know he's nuts was a famous rejoinder then). But I knew next to nothing. Except the excitement of it all. The soap opera quality...the tears, the great victories, the sad but often needed defeats. They were all a part of what I thought this great sport was about.

I followed the tote boards on election nights as most boys might scour the box scores of last night's ball games. Slowly, I started to gather what these men were saying, but what they said still meant less to me than how they said it. All said, I was convinced by the nightly news guys that to be interested in politics, government...civics, was to be a good citizen. And yet, as I grew older, and a bit smarter, I recognized a very deep emptiness in my hobby. I had happened upon the concept of substance (somehow) and I wanted more. Was there really a difference between Nixon, Humpfrey, McGovern, Rockefeller, and all the rest who, be it said, did disagree on large, specific things. The War. Race. Law and Order.

But as I grew bigger I wanted to know more about everything. I even flirted with George Wallace because he was saying things that had meaning and was at least QUESTIONING the philosophy of government that almost all of the other men held. I was too. By the time I was fifteen, I wanted more. Not who was going to save the world, or reform the economy, or end the war. I needed to know what it was these men thought about. What was behind their ideas for government.

In steps William F. Buckley. Granted, it is hard to hoist oneself onto the shoulders of a giant to see the world more clearly. But, and I don't remember how or when, I was given a copy of National Review Magazine. And I was introduced to the world of conservative thinkers. Bill Buckley could write and speak to men in hard hats, blue jeans and white socks, popping open a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon, as well and clearly and easily as he could to his own set, the Park Avenue men in Brooks Brothers suits drinking in the evening martini.

Buckley was the first man to set me straight. The first man I found who was writing about the why's of politics, much less than the hows. I followed politics for a decade before I realized that ideas mattered. And on the shoulders of this giant, I took the ride, the intellectual ride of my life up through conservative valley, into Reagan land, and finally, when I saw (and I do believe WFB did as well) that the conservative movement that he had nurtured with his mighty philosophical heft and from his own unique pen, was going to disappoint us all, he moved as close as he could to libertarianism.

Just to look and listen to William Buckley was a trip, even if you hadn't a clue. But if you did, and you are one of us who wants to change the world, and has been at work at it for decades, tonight you'll shed a tear for this great, great, man.

Joe Postove

Now That Castro Is Out Of The Way

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:51:00 +0000

Fidel Castro submitted his resignation as president of Cuba today. I wonder who he submitted it to, as he is the one who takes all of the submissions (that is if he is still alive).

I think he's dead and his brother Raul wrote up a nice going away letter, and in a day or two the announcement will come that President Castro has passed from this earth. Of course as athiests, the communist there believe that he's all gone, with no soul to go anywhere.

Of course us godly people know that Castro is dancing around Hell's frying pan, as his afterlife will teach him the value of living a good pre-death life.

What now? The whores, gambling joints, sex shows and all of the other freedoms have not forgotten old Havana as a 90 mile off shore hot and saucy town that makes Las Vegas look like Branson. There is a problem. After Raul is overthrown by a libertarian revolution (oh the joy!) we would have to confront the fact that the Cuban people have forgotten how to behave in a free society. They know utter poverty, they understand, in their own way, what it is to be slaves in a slave state. And they also expect what is left of the socialist crumbs Fidel was able muster up, even after the Soviet Union closed.

These poor wretched people, most of whom have no real conception of a free society, need to be taught how to live. Before we can turn on the spigot, and turn Cuba into a free market, lovely vacation and business magnet, the people there have to unlearn 50 years of communism.

And learn liberty. Good luck amigos. May the REAL revolution, the one of ideas, come very soon.

Joe Postove

Primary In Virginia Today

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 23:23:00 +0000

The polling place was nearly empty this evening as I slunked in to cast my vote. I like it like that for two reasons. I can get in and out easily, and less voters makes mine count all the more.

Not that it makes much of a difference. Today, I voted for peace, freedom, individualism, and Americanism. I voted for Ron Paul. I felt some saddness as I plunked my finger over his name, and prayed that the machines were not rigged. I live in a cheap apartment in a rich neighborhood, so naturally most of the votes will be Democrat. I can't say if the rich liberals here in Ghent near downtown Norfolk will go to Hillary, or Obama. The time has long passed when I can explain to rich liberals of the chi chi set, that they are voting not simply against their class (I do that all the time...No poor man ever gave this poor man a job) but also aginst the economic system that made them fat and rich in the first place.

I find, in all these political days, we must weather a sense of powerlessness, in that skin color, sex, experience, and cleverness seem to rule the debate. Our forefathers had not much political experience. And they created a great nation. We have an electorate that is too often seduced by form over substance.

Oh, Lord, please save us from the liberal guilt that is destroying our nation!

But I have digressed. I voted for not just the only man who has articulated the framework that our founders set down for this nation. I voted for Paul, who has toiled in the fields of liberty for so long with the ideas of Rand, Friedman, Goldwater, Rothbard, Von Mises, and so many other libertarian thinkers who have inched (Back!) oh ever so slowly into our collective mind. People know about liberty now, many of us. We understand that there is a movement called libertarianism.

That is a major step. It's like telling people there is a bible out there. Now we have to get them to read it. The idea(s) of Ron Paul and the libertarian movement are so powerful (agree or disagree) and wide ranging, that if those of us who have understood the criminality of our government for so long can continue to spread those ideas and not get too discouraged that Ron Paul won't be our next president, then there is a place called hope.

Baby steps are steps.Toward freedom and peace and away from statism and wars.

And so we begin again everyday, if need be.

Joe Postove

5th Avenue vs Clark Bar

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 23:37:00 +0000

After I finished my paper route this morning I stopped into 7/11 (this is a different one than my regular near the house. I am getting tired of the easy familiarity of the staff there and their interest in my eating habits and why I don't smile more at 6 in the morning) to pick up some breakfast.

The sandwiches are having a contest whereupon you peel off a sticker on the box, you get a free extra piece of garbage that they want to promote. I have no objection to that, except that sometimes you get gum and then other times you win a neat extra, like a hot dog, or a big bag of chips. I cheat and peel off the sticker before I get to the counter. I'm no fool. I'm not going get stuck with the shit they can't give away when there are goodies like chips and candy bars that I would rather toss down my gullet.

Which brings me to candy bars. Today I won a free candy bar that I was unfamiliar with, so the Chinese lady who runs the place said "take any candy bar...Any one you want". This sounded against the rules, but that's ok. When the Chinese lady says I can take any candy I want, I do as she says.

I wanted a Clark Bar, an old reliable that you can eat anywhere, even the opera or in court. I picked up my prize, took her back to the van along with my chicken salad sandwich, carrots, and pretzels, and proceeded home.

If you have read my blog before, you know that food in my bag does not usually get all the way home, that I usually play with it, and eat some, before I haul it into my apartment. I unwrapped the Clark Bar, greedily, but with the experience of someone who had eaten this type of candy bar before. It tastes something like a Butterfinger, but is firmer, and of more resolute form.

I am driving along, eating my free candy, messing with the radio, when to my great astonishment I looked at the wrapper, which was brown like a Clark Bar, but which instead said 5th Avenue! The whole time I was eating a 5th Avenue, thinking it was a Clark Bar!

I thought about it; shoved the last bit down my throat, and said to myself, in whisper, "isn't that something".

Joe Postove

Politics, Train Wrecks, And Civilization

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 23:59:00 +0000

It was sweet yesterday as Fat Tuesday and Super Tuesday fell on the same day.

A day and night of drunken recklessness, encouraged by the government ruled the day. And then there was the Mardi Gras.

I like politics. I also like train wrecks, the bad guys winning in the movies, and sacks of money (from whatever source) appearing at my front door.

However, politics is the failure of civilization. It is the inability of the race to form society in a way other than using the only institution with a legal monopoly on the use of force. But we political rubberneckers love the chase. Those who have the best and shiniest campaigns, the cleverest commercials, the tight little sound bytes that mean as little as possible. And which candidate can pander to the most people with the best one liners and jingoisms and not even themselves see the sad rediculous miasma that the political class is putting us poor citizens through.

As said in an earlier column; libertarians engage in the political process not to make government better. We play this awful, awful game with one and only one, express purpose; to reduce the size of government. To roll it back to the purposes expressed in the constitution. That neither king or president or the mob of democracy is the sovereign, but rather man as an individual. Men and women free to pursue their lives in ANY way, as long as they do not infringe on that same right of every other man and woman.

We do not want a better government! We want a better world, free of the wars, socialism, and folly writ so large, that if the men who ran our United States ran Sears or Wal-Mart the same way, they would long ago have been jailed.

It's about freedom. And civilization, given the chance, is only really civilized when it is free. Judge Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. was quoted once as saying "taxes are the price we pay for civilization". The initiation of force is not civilized. The picking of our collective pocket is not civilized. This is not civilization, it is ransom. And we have been kidnapped.

All we really want is ourselves back. I'm voting for Ron Paul next week. I refuse to be a part of a system that would astound and dismay our founders.

So, I'll watch all of the train wrecks, and car crashes and the run up to November with the same childlike intensity that our minders at CNN and FOX love so much. I can't help it.

But I would rather people consider the idea of true liberty, an ideology of individual human sovereignty that is not dead as long as the men of the mind can compete with the men of the brawn. And it is the men of the brawn who, Democrat or Republican, are begging for your blessing.

Save the blessings for yourself. If freedom is important to you, that is.

Joe Postove

Carl Wilson

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 23:55:00 +0000

Ten years ago today, on Febuary 6th, 1998 the world lost one of its greatest voices.

Carl Wilson died that day, and on that day the Beach Boys essentially ended as a band. They continue on with Mike Love and company playing the hits and gaining the crowds. But the soul of the Beach Boys is gone, and so is the heart of the group.

Amazingly, the band survived the decades long mental illness of its leader and perhaps greatest living rock and roll composer, Brian Wilson.

It was Carl, through the death of brother Dennis, intra group squabbles, Brian's illness and changes in the tastes of the public who held the band together. When he died, so did the Beach Boys.

Carl Wilson was a conscientious objector during Vietnam. That is not surprising considering his bird-like gentleness of spirit. Any man who could sing "God Only Knows" couldn't possibly kill people.

That beautiful voice that carried Brian's dream, so often, to fruition, was like no other.

And no other will ever be like Carl Wilson.

Joe

Earl Butz RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:43:00 +0000

Earl Butz, former agriculture Secretary in the Nixon and Ford administration's has died at the age of 98.

I never like to "its about time" for anyone, and I won't for Butz. But at 98, I'd say "good enough Earl, time for permanent bedtime". But that's me.

He made his name not as a popular cabinet member under two presidents, but in a crude, but funny joke that he told Pat Boone and Jimmy Dean while touring the mid-west. Most newspapers would not repeat the joke word for word because of its crudity, but we here at "Libertarianism And Things" feel a need, deep down inside, a hot soulful need to repeat Butz story that made him the butt of many a joke, particuarly on Johnny Carson's show, and in pay toilets and men's sauna's around the world.

Butz said: "There are three things that the colored people like more than anything, and that is tight pussy, loose shoes, and a warm place to shit".

Duh! Like who doesn't? But after telling that crude joke to Pat and Jimmy (!), word leaked out (oh those damn leaks) , and he was fired days later by Gerald Ford. The fact that he lived to 98 is testament to....good luck. I'm sure Earl spent many sleepless nights, tossing and turning, rolling the whole thing around in his head..."why oh why did I do such a stupid thing"? It was because he was stupid.

He was in relatively good health until about two weeks ago when he was trapped inside a pay toilet in Chinatown wearing a pair of wingtip shoes. He had just come from the proctologist. He last had sex in 1977.

Oh the irony.

Joe

Brucie Is Syndicating My Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:56:00 +0000

My oldest friend, Brucie Friedman thinks my blog is so great, he is sending it to all of his friends, via email express, and now I have to kill him.

It's not that I don't like the attention and the comments on my writing, but I get really nervous when I know people are looking at my stuff on a regular basis, and judging me. Jesus "Crackers" Christ, it makes my pussy flip flop, and I don't mean that in a good way.

I was sort of considering retiring from show business sometime this year, but now with all of Brucie's friends looking at my blog (in their stinking underwear...and only God knows what else goes on in front of their computers) I guess I'll have to blog all the time, even when I don't have anything to say...like now.

I was going to butter up my ass for my Friday night enema, but now I am so nervous, I have to go to the pay toilet across the street from my apartment. There's one down the hall here, but I like to jump on the ding ding bells there, and they have Upper Ten in bottles. The only problem with that is the man who runs the station makes you stay there until you finish your drink so you can get your deposit back.

So tonight, I'll eat an Eskimo Pie, Jump on the ding ding bells, make evening plop plops, and then come home and cry myself to sleep.

Thanks, Brucie!

Joey Postove

Teeth?

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 22:33:00 +0000

As a proud American, I have tried to make this blog family friendly and kind and gentle enough for even children to read before evening prayers. I am Jewish, but I have a Christian sensibility when it comes to our young people...the future of the world.

But today I was listening to Dr. Dean Edell, the radio doctor talking about a lady who has teeth in her vagina! Yeehaw! It's about time! I've had a very modest sex life, and the best I ever had was a woman, who I think had a meatloaf down there.

Dr. Edell also talked today about a new film, called "Teeth", about a lady's set of choppers down below. OK. If you're a woman, or a man who acts like a woman, maybe you should stop reading all about this great new sexy thing. But I warn you...you're gonna miss some kind of ride in in a 1959, tarted up, really punk, pink Cadillac.

Children...please don't read any further, as some of the material is really sexy and even pump oven delight, so maybe watch cartoons until Mom gets home.

A woman with teeth "down there" changes, altogether, the meaning of "pussy eating". Now we must ask the question, what will our young miss with vaginal teeth eat in a normal day. Those of you who immediately thought of weiners are banned from this blog till tomorrow.

But Jesus "Grover Cleveland" Christ! Jiminy Cricket and, well, even Goddamn (excuse me) but a woman who can bite a man more than he's ever been bitten before is the sexy equivilent to Reagan's bright shining light on a hill. It is the apogee of everything!.

Gee wiz, it sounds almost like doggie love. You know how that works. When two dogs are making love in the street, the act is not over until the female dog releases the male dog from her "grip". I wonder if female dogs have special teeth too?

I guess I would be scared of a woman like that. Without being too graphic, I am used to women, now that I think about it, who have fish, and meatloaf, or maybe a steak (with bone in) in that area. But teeth? Could I handle a girl who could never make me want to go back to the old regular vaginas ever again. I would be so spoiled. It would be like a high speed modem. Once you've had that, dial up will never satisfy you.

And once I find a lady with teeth (I already knew about the other lips...but lets keep it clean, kids) and she treats me to a sacred, Godly, thing, I will report back here, on the blog.

That is, if she lets me out.

God. What if she has a tongue too. It would the most beautiful face in the world.

Joe Postove

Here She Comes...

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 17:03:00 +0000

They finally got around to crowning the new Miss America last night, after leaving Sin City, Atlantic City for Sinner City, Las Vegas. The winner was a nice young girl from Muskogee Oklahoma. They don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee; they don't take their trips on LSD. They also don't burn their draft cards down on Main Street. They like livin' right, and bein' free.

So what is the new Miss America gonna get? A one year contract at the Chicken Ranch just outside the city limits, a mink stole, five thousand in chips from Binion's, and all the tips she can make. This was all a mistake. If they wanted to really Americanize the pageant, and make it really wholesome (and not an introduction to prostitution for the winner and her court of runner-ups) then they should have held the thing in Branson. It would have been the most exciting thing there since the rumors that Donnie and Marie were getting married.

To different people! For God's sake, what were you thinking? What a dirty mind. Jiminy Cricket! Now just shut up and read, I'm almost finished. I really felt sorry for the contestants in this years pageant. The talent competition was demonstrating one's ability to deal cards and work the pit. Miss Oklahoma was a wiz with the ball on the roulette wheel. She wore a thong and spit on the ball so that it would hit her number (17) and since she bet a dollar she won $335.00 in addition to all of her other prizes. The girls also had to serve drinks to the players and make change for the slots players, so the contest was a tough one this year. I kind of miss the baton twirlers.

Joe Postove

Get Up! (I Feel Like Being A Democratic Sex Machine!)

noreply@blogger.com (Mr. Liberty) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:28:00 +0000

It's early yet (yet we all thought by now it would be late) in the primary season with just a handful of political thermometers thrust up the electorate's rectum yet to pop (you turkeys).

But I'm ready to call the Democratic Party's ticket, even before Super Tuesday, even before Ash Wednesday, gosh...even before the Super Bowl. The Democratic Party needs a sexy ticket this year, and that's all, to beat some of the slugs coming down hard and tired out of the GOP.

Oh, they're not all as old as McCain, or as dumpy as Huckaby or as Godly as Mitt (by the way, I found out why his Dad, George, named him Mitt. When he was born he thought young Romney looked like Shirley Booth. And we know she has a face like a mitt. And furthermore, we all know she has a mitt...well shall we say, daintily, like she's taken one too many spit balls) but the Republicans ain't got any sex this year. The only thing interesting amongst them is Ron Paul, our libertarian, anti-war man. But if he starts to break into the double digits, I think some of Guliani's crew might break a few fingers or deliver some horsie heads to Paul's. The New Yorker's do not fuck around.

Which brings us back to the Democracy. A white woman on top, with a new young fresh black man (Joe Biden again, yesterday, said that Obama is clean!) on the bottom could give this whole ride some real bounce as they travel the country, hand in hand, black and white, man and woman, milking the change routine like some old vaudville team.

Mr. Obama already has the sex vote from white women around the country. And Hillary, it is not inconceivable, could pick up some of the MILF vote down south, where that thing is accepted.

Think of the two of them in the White House, Bill away on a trip somewhere where he can get his, and not have to work for it (did he ever?) and Hillary and Obama, never touching, but so close, never too close...but so, so close.

Tell me this ain't got goodtime sex written all over it? And why not? After 7 years of George Bush's flaccid outlook on life, we need a inter-racial executive team to bring change and unity to the country.

Look out world, for the ultimate power couple!

Joe Postove