Pitty Pat

Pitty-Pat, a long time girls game has been condemned by the Catholic Church on the grounds that it may cause young girls to become gay. Pitty-Pat, a game played by hitting the hands together and singing a song at the same time, was indeed, invented by Pope Leo IV in 1657 when he was going through his "girlish" phase.

At the time, the game was seen as harmless, as girl-boy switcheroo was approved of by the Church and played by many in the Vatican, all day and night, hands hitting, back and forth, swailing in the air, bringing them to a crescendo where they would hit each other and bring great sexual satisfaction. This was the only sexy thing allowed by the Church, outside of marriage, at the time, except of course for footsie.

Footsie was for men not going through a girlish phase, but rather a more serious "hotsie-totsie" form of fun between Popes and Bishops, sadly pining for lost youth.The current Pope (Leo or Steve...his name has been forgotten by all but those who are accomplished footsie fans) has now made Pitty-Pat a hanging offense for young Catholic girls, the penalty being making them well hung.

Joe Postove