A Jew Looks At Christmas
It's that time again. Time to wish all of my Christian friends a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And as a Jew, I never found this troubling. Sure I don't believe in Christ, and Santa disappointed me years ago AFTER I prayed to both Jesus and him to see if it might take.
Let's face it. Christmas is for Christians, and we Jews, no matter how nice we are about the whole thing, are ignored on Christmas Day. I see you Gentiles with your fancy new bikes and doll-babies, and X-Boxes, and all kinds of neat shit. Jews? Hannkkah? The only reason we have that dismal "winter festival" is because about 100 years ago, some liberal Jews thought that the Yid Kids needed something to do, while you guys gorged on Christmas hams, jellies, and all those dirty non-kosher foods you feed your babies.
I may be too harsh. Christmas is a loving season, in which you celebrate the birth of the savior (the messiah) and joyously proclaim to the world peace on earth, and goodwill to men. Then on the 26th the shooting begins again. If Jews ran the world (and we don't...believe it folks, we don't...if we did, do you think we would let you kick our ass time after time?) we would still allow the pagans to keep their Christmas, but all toys would be confiscated, to be given to poor Jewish boys and girls around the world (yeah there are some...we ain't all pawn brokers and lawyers) and the Pope would have to give back the Yarmica. We all know he stole it from a Bar-Mitzvah we invited him to back in '61. Plus all good looking Christian woman between the ages of 18 and 50 would have to dance naked on the alter at the nearest synagogue. These are our terms. there will be no negotiation.
In closing, since time is a gaining on us, may I, from my family to you and your's, wish you the merriest of Christmas' and happiest of New Years. Another year, anther Christmas. Santa will have to fly over millions of Jewish homes to get to all the Christian one's. But this is the religion we have chosen, so I let it go.
Lil' Joey
Let's face it. Christmas is for Christians, and we Jews, no matter how nice we are about the whole thing, are ignored on Christmas Day. I see you Gentiles with your fancy new bikes and doll-babies, and X-Boxes, and all kinds of neat shit. Jews? Hannkkah? The only reason we have that dismal "winter festival" is because about 100 years ago, some liberal Jews thought that the Yid Kids needed something to do, while you guys gorged on Christmas hams, jellies, and all those dirty non-kosher foods you feed your babies.
I may be too harsh. Christmas is a loving season, in which you celebrate the birth of the savior (the messiah) and joyously proclaim to the world peace on earth, and goodwill to men. Then on the 26th the shooting begins again. If Jews ran the world (and we don't...believe it folks, we don't...if we did, do you think we would let you kick our ass time after time?) we would still allow the pagans to keep their Christmas, but all toys would be confiscated, to be given to poor Jewish boys and girls around the world (yeah there are some...we ain't all pawn brokers and lawyers) and the Pope would have to give back the Yarmica. We all know he stole it from a Bar-Mitzvah we invited him to back in '61. Plus all good looking Christian woman between the ages of 18 and 50 would have to dance naked on the alter at the nearest synagogue. These are our terms. there will be no negotiation.
In closing, since time is a gaining on us, may I, from my family to you and your's, wish you the merriest of Christmas' and happiest of New Years. Another year, anther Christmas. Santa will have to fly over millions of Jewish homes to get to all the Christian one's. But this is the religion we have chosen, so I let it go.
Lil' Joey
posted by Mr. Liberty at 1:02 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home