Wednesday, December 23, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS

We had our annual Christmas party at the auto warehouse where I now hang my head. We had the usual cheap eats like sub sandwiches, chili, potato salad, macaroni salad, chips, cake, cold drinks...you know, the kind of things that has gotten my sphincter muscles all excited. I'm posting this at the pinball machine at the bowling alley downtown, and even though I own the pay toilets here, I don't have my keys and I ain't got a dime. Man am I am roiling!

I may not be able to get to a public computer tomorrow to wish all of you and your families a mighty mighty Christmas, so I wanted to do it tonight before I go into seclusion with my brother Jews.

I'll probably spend Christmas the tradional way, alone, in my apartment (which is across the street from the gas station), with the shades drawn, and the lights out. We'un's don't think its a great idea to be out there too much on this, your holy day of Christ's birth, when we were the guys who offed him (or at least we told some other guys where he was). I'll probably get drunk and when evening comes go pis in some of the empty Salvation Army buckets (there's nothing wrong with that, by the way...they spend the money before Christmas anyhow, for your bums and such, so what's a little urine between religions?).

Sometimes I wish we Jews had a really good holiday like you guys. But what with your turkeys and hams and cranberry sauce, and stuffing, not to mention mashed potatos, corn on and off the cob, pies of all kinds, I well expect to do extra good business at my pay toilets in downtown Norfolk come Christmas afternoon.

Remember, we're at the corner of Church and Nebraska streets, right across from my Whorehouse (which will be closed for the holidays). Dime after dime will be flowing into my receptacle, and I will buy myself really nice for New Years (you should see the lines here then, with all of the drunks...I charge double AND get away with it!).

So go now and rest ye head on thy bed and wait for the day of saving grace that the birth of your savior meant to bring but had to go back to Heaven and pick up and bring back.

Two thousand years now Jesus.

Come back soon.

Lil' Joey Postove

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