I Shoot For High Mediocrity
I do not do anything exceptionally well. Sure, those of you who read my Bolg know that I can toodle that fucking trashcan full of newspapers and throw them against hotel doors with extreme prejudice, but I don't count that as a skill since I've been doing it so long. I think of it more as a mental illness, in which I am allowed to act out.
Except. Yes, except one thing. I do this thing so well that when I tell people about it, they are loathe to believe me unless I show them. No, it's not my numbers or letters, I can count pretty high and I know my ABC's. This is a skill that I have developed over the years into an art. More an art form, since I don't think many people take this form of artistry seriously.
What it is. What is it? I can PARALLEL PARK excellently! Give me a space just the size of my van, and I can fit that mother in as tight as Zsa Zsa Gabor wearing Eva Gabor's bra. And that's some tight fit. Zsa Zsa was a "c" cup (still is, except now she is all hunched over with age, and I am unable to take her measurements properly) and Eva is dead, so unless I dig her up and tape measure her, I can never be totally exact on this point).
I am a smooth gadabout when it comes to talking to women about my "power parking". I don't know if they are really that impressed though, or if it is that they spit in my face because I tape measure them too, just to compare with the Gabor sisters. One day, just for practice, I will show a nice girl how well I park. And I won't insist on tape measuring her breasts. I am a gentleman if nothing else. Except a wonderful parker. Or I could be nothing. I need to watch more television.
Someday I will invite you all who read me here (unless it's more than 3, then I'll have to cull the invitation list a little) to watch me parallel park.
And that will be your stone groove for the day. Thank you.
Joseph N Postove
Except. Yes, except one thing. I do this thing so well that when I tell people about it, they are loathe to believe me unless I show them. No, it's not my numbers or letters, I can count pretty high and I know my ABC's. This is a skill that I have developed over the years into an art. More an art form, since I don't think many people take this form of artistry seriously.
What it is. What is it? I can PARALLEL PARK excellently! Give me a space just the size of my van, and I can fit that mother in as tight as Zsa Zsa Gabor wearing Eva Gabor's bra. And that's some tight fit. Zsa Zsa was a "c" cup (still is, except now she is all hunched over with age, and I am unable to take her measurements properly) and Eva is dead, so unless I dig her up and tape measure her, I can never be totally exact on this point).
I am a smooth gadabout when it comes to talking to women about my "power parking". I don't know if they are really that impressed though, or if it is that they spit in my face because I tape measure them too, just to compare with the Gabor sisters. One day, just for practice, I will show a nice girl how well I park. And I won't insist on tape measuring her breasts. I am a gentleman if nothing else. Except a wonderful parker. Or I could be nothing. I need to watch more television.
Someday I will invite you all who read me here (unless it's more than 3, then I'll have to cull the invitation list a little) to watch me parallel park.
And that will be your stone groove for the day. Thank you.
Joseph N Postove
posted by Mr. Liberty at 2:55 AM
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