Cell Phone
I thought I was really hip. I have known how to google and email and blog and grab free music and use almost 10% of my computer's capacity for years now. I have been called "genius" by my older friends who are just now dipping their toes into the world of WWW.
I just bought a cell phone. One of the kind where you can load up minutes at your convenience, which is what I need, since I'm only using it for emergencies, like if the Muslim Brotherhood rapes me while I'm on my paper route (I don't know why they would though. I'd give them all a free paper), or if I fall down and go boom. If any of that should happen I would dial at random, wildly fingering numbers until someone answers and hears my pleas for help.
But man, when I got this thing today and had to set it up, I was so intimidated that I nearly plotzed. It was like 1999 all over again and I was learning how to find pornsites. I mean I was really freaking today. Then I called the "Virgin Mobile" customer service to set up the pay plan and get the phone working, and to my great relief, they did not cut off my balls or call me a pussy.
Look, it's nearly 2006 and I think it's about time I was able to talk to someone else in my car, besides me. After a while that gets old. And I'm out there at four in the morning, and a cell phone in my pocket would be easier than finding a phone booth in a whorehouse. My opinion only.
So, welcome me to the world of wireless talkie talk, and bless my way, as I come into my own, powerfully built to take on the 21st century, and beat it at it's own game.
Joe Postove
I just bought a cell phone. One of the kind where you can load up minutes at your convenience, which is what I need, since I'm only using it for emergencies, like if the Muslim Brotherhood rapes me while I'm on my paper route (I don't know why they would though. I'd give them all a free paper), or if I fall down and go boom. If any of that should happen I would dial at random, wildly fingering numbers until someone answers and hears my pleas for help.
But man, when I got this thing today and had to set it up, I was so intimidated that I nearly plotzed. It was like 1999 all over again and I was learning how to find pornsites. I mean I was really freaking today. Then I called the "Virgin Mobile" customer service to set up the pay plan and get the phone working, and to my great relief, they did not cut off my balls or call me a pussy.
Look, it's nearly 2006 and I think it's about time I was able to talk to someone else in my car, besides me. After a while that gets old. And I'm out there at four in the morning, and a cell phone in my pocket would be easier than finding a phone booth in a whorehouse. My opinion only.
So, welcome me to the world of wireless talkie talk, and bless my way, as I come into my own, powerfully built to take on the 21st century, and beat it at it's own game.
Joe Postove
posted by Mr. Liberty at 11:09 AM
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