I Wish I Were Nude

Wherever you are, stop what you're doing and pray for Norfolk, Virginia. The home of the world's largest naval apparatus has a temperature of 95 degrees today, and only God knows what it is in the shade, because I'm not stupid enough to go outside and sit under a tree.

The thermometer says "95", but I'll bet the "feel like" temp is more like 97 or 98 and thus is killing us.I'm so desperate that I am considering ditching my Judaism and converting to the Catholic faith just to get a priest to put his cold clammy hands along my supple body and make me. That's probably going too far, though. I could turn the air conditioner on, but mine is a 1934 model from W.T. Grant's and runs on pureed horse shit. I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay the prices they're asking down by the stables for pureed H.S. Besides, once one of the horseshit air conditioners really gets cranking, it cools the air ok, but it smells like shit.

I wonder if the 7/11 convicts would mind if I ran naked, willy-nilly (and I rarely do that anymore) back through the Slurpie works slopping my head with all the flavors and maybe filch an ice cream sandwich to eat during a rest period.It's so damn hot. And being of unsound mind, I have few options (see above). I guess I'll just go to the movies and sit in between the décolleté of a fat lady. It's always been real cool there, and I may try that again.More heat reports, as they kill us off, one by one.

Joe Postove

Decomposing

Why is it when writers die, and they decompose; we're still left with their compositions?

joe

Harry

Happy birthday, today to my dear Uncle Harry.

You would have been 94 today.

And I miss you every day that passes, so slowly, without you.

Joe Postove

Happy Fourth Of July

Today is Independence Day. Be a man and show us how much you love what this country stands for. Go downtown with me and BURN THE FLAG!

The Congress just dodged a bullet by not passing a constitutional amendment to carve out an exception to the 1st amendment. The constitution, bit by bit, is being gutted. Whether it be by judicial fiat, or phony political patriotism, this free nation is melting before our eyes, in the name of security, fairness or "love of country". I leave it to you to name the lazy premise upon which our leaders have wrenched away the liberty the founders established.

What a shame too. I feel we're on a little tugboat waving goodbye to the Statue Of Liberty, as we sail backward into the old world. Say bye bye to China as they outclass us economically and eventually militarily.

See there, junior? That's the old continent of Africa. They got smart about half-way through the 21st century and adopted radical, boisterous free markets when they discovered that capitalism had been the unknown ideal the whole time.And over there, to the left, is Cuba. When the old man died in 2007, the people there threw communism over and went wild for freedom.

Real liberty, with newspapers, internet, neat stuff and most of all, the rediscovery of the self. The right to live for one's own sake. Yes, even the Cubans eventually got it. In fact, so many nations, all over the world studied what we Americans used to be; a nation with free markets, private property, freedom of expression and a love of liberty so ardent, that we might have exploded with all that freedom, if we hadn't ripped it to shreds ourselves.

You see, we took it all for granted. We thought we were great because we were America! We forgot that we were America because we were free. So back here in real time, we can watch in wonderment and stupid amazement how we lost it all, or be brave and stand up for liberty.This is a one time offer. It may not come around again. So today, show us how much you love our country:

BURN THE FLAG

Joe Postove