Saturday, March 19, 2011


My legs hurt tonight. I think it may be a combination of age and falling down the stairs this morning while going downstairs. I think I’m not getting enough sleep these days and one of the reasons I don’t get enough sleep is that I didn’t get enough naps this past year. And I blame the government.

As a Libertarian I enjoy blaming the government for as much and as many things as possible. I would even blame the government for cutbacks in government, if that were to ever happen, perhaps in a bizzaro universe. I certainly blame them for falling down the stairs this morning and the now throbbing pain in my legs. If I lived in Canada, I’d go get me some National Health, but the government in this country doesn’t offer that, so I just laid in bed today, with a slurpie, and rubbed my legs with liniment, none of which came from the government. Damn government.

Why did I fall down the stairs? Because in 2010 I didn’t get nearly the amount of naps I am used to. As an example, in 2009, I got a good one hour nap every afternoon. Sometimes, if I didn’t wake up, I’d even get two hours or more. It all depended on when I woke. But this year, because the government was so busy, doing things and making noise, my naps were nearly cut in half. That’s no way to run a country. Any nation that can send a man to the moon, can assure me that I’ll be able to get my afternoon nap. I need it! I love my nap so much. I get all scrunched up in my little bed, my favorite pillow right under my head, take off all my clothes (before the scrunching, that is) and take a wondrous trip to dreamland for an hour or two. It’s always helped that I’ve had long periods of unemployment, as this makes nap time much more convenient. And that’s only part of it. After my nap, when I get up, I have a glass of Ovaltine and an Oreo cookie as a reward for yet another successful nap. Now the government has ruined it for me. How would the government like it if they couldn’t take their nap when they wanted to?

And who the hell are you, anyway?



Blogger phil said...

I'm napping right now as we speak.
Amazing, huh?

~The Man Who Doesn't Know Who The Hell He Is Anyway

3:33 PM  
Blogger Lil' Joey said...

Nap my fine young man! Nap until the fleas fly up your nose and infest your fine (Larry) fine intellect!

Be good my friend!



4:25 AM  

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