Do The Shake

In a stunning rebuke to conventional penis thinking, The American House Of Medicine has issued a report on men's urinating. According to the report, nearly half of all men who pee, do not empty their bladder sufficiently enough to avoid coming back to the men's room for another round, or even more importantly, wait until they're in their trucks and still need to go and pee and do so in the Big Gulp cup.

Doctors say the solution would be for more men to practice "the shake", waving the penis wildly around the men's room, hither and yon, with great abandonment of proper etiquette and good taste. If questioned by the authorities, men are advised to say "it just got away from me, and I was trying to put it back in".

Medical groups agree, that with more shaking of the penis, more urine would come out, and men would find less need to go back to the urinal. This doesn't work as well with #2.

Joe Postove