Saturday, September 29, 2007

MacArthur Foundation Slops Money To Brains

The John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation which bestows money on pitiful and unremarked upon geniuses stewing in their own brilliant juices waiting for some ship to come in, or to kill themselves, has ladled out another 12 1/2 million dollars to 25 new MacArthur Fellows for 2007.

These are men and women, mostly operating in obscurity who range from a molecular biologist to a fisherman who futzes around with lobsters and such to a violin maker living in a pile of human excrement and who really needed some bucks (and probably the love of a good woman).

These are all worthy pursuits (I suppose...Who really gives a damn unless I get mine) and the great thing about these grants is the people who get them, get them with no strings attached! Golly Jesus! These people can take their half a mil and blow it on crack, whores, candy and other fine things and the MacArthur Foundation people won't come down on them.

These grants are, once bestowed, free and easy money for good times and easy sex. It is interesting to see the breadth of types that get this sweet sack of swag. I'm sure all of these great minds deserve what they get, but I think if the folks up there with the money ever see me deliver newspapers, we could change the whole paradigm of who gets this grease. I fold them, stick them in bags, then hang them on hotel room doors, all without asking for your pity or money (not that I'm not asking). AND all without interrupting the perfectly sexy sounds I hear as I pass the rooms.

What goes on in a private hotel room is none of my business. But I sure would like to see some of it. I listen with my ear to the door, and imagine the fine action happening between what I know to be UNMARRIED couples jointly engaging. That's OK. I just hop scotch from room to room, hither and thither, leaving papers at each door, all the while getting a nice earful of audio sex twixt men and women. And who knows? Some of that is probably lesbian and homo too, but I'm much too polite to listen in on illegal sex.

Doesn't all that deserve at least a consideration for a half million from these rich fucks? I work hard, and it would be nice to have some appreciation for all that. It's not like I toodle my trash can full of papers every night to hotels all over Norfolk for my health. After all. I gotta eat too.

Joe

2 Comments:

Blogger phil said...

Where do I sign up for a grant?

:)

5:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Liberty said...

I can't tell ya.

5:15 PM  

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