First Day Of August
This is not the first day of August. However, it is my first post to the blog for this month and thus deserves celebrations. Yee-haw.
I hope that makes you happy. I try not to get too excited these days, what with the war and the pay toilet scandal here in Norfolk.
The internet is a great place for folks like us to tell it like it is. To say what's on our minds, and fall asleep after eating half a gallon of ice cream. Yeah, I did that. They have this new Edie's brand ice cream that has only 70 calories per serving. 70 CALORIES PER SERVING! That's like an academy award coming out of your ass! Or teaching some women how to pee standing up, so that they won't have to wait so long for the ladies room at ball games and the Grand Opera. 70 calorie ice cream is a gift from God. God wants us to gobble down this great junk because he loves us, and knows how important sweet things are to us.
There are 14 servings in this bucket of 70 calorie ice cream, which means there are less than 1,000 calories in the whole can. So I ate just about all of it, and now I have a stomach ache. Ooooh...ahhhhh. "Mom, can I stay home from school today? My stomach really hurts. ohhh...ooohh!!!" She said get dressed and then lay down. "Then we'll see how you feel"
That was years ago, but I went to school. Once your Mother tells you to get dressed, and then see how you feel; you might as well stuff my fat body out the door and onto the bus, cause I'm going to school. Curse it all! Another "Art Linkletter's House Party" missed again. As for the ice cream it wasn't the tub of 70 calorie love that busted my gut. It was the 6 peanut butter sandwiches I kept in my pocket for emergencies. Like all good fat children.
My stomach hurts NOW! But I have to go to work and deliver my newspapers. My boss won't even let me lay down and see how I feel later.
joe
I hope that makes you happy. I try not to get too excited these days, what with the war and the pay toilet scandal here in Norfolk.
The internet is a great place for folks like us to tell it like it is. To say what's on our minds, and fall asleep after eating half a gallon of ice cream. Yeah, I did that. They have this new Edie's brand ice cream that has only 70 calories per serving. 70 CALORIES PER SERVING! That's like an academy award coming out of your ass! Or teaching some women how to pee standing up, so that they won't have to wait so long for the ladies room at ball games and the Grand Opera. 70 calorie ice cream is a gift from God. God wants us to gobble down this great junk because he loves us, and knows how important sweet things are to us.
There are 14 servings in this bucket of 70 calorie ice cream, which means there are less than 1,000 calories in the whole can. So I ate just about all of it, and now I have a stomach ache. Ooooh...ahhhhh. "Mom, can I stay home from school today? My stomach really hurts. ohhh...ooohh!!!" She said get dressed and then lay down. "Then we'll see how you feel"
That was years ago, but I went to school. Once your Mother tells you to get dressed, and then see how you feel; you might as well stuff my fat body out the door and onto the bus, cause I'm going to school. Curse it all! Another "Art Linkletter's House Party" missed again. As for the ice cream it wasn't the tub of 70 calorie love that busted my gut. It was the 6 peanut butter sandwiches I kept in my pocket for emergencies. Like all good fat children.
My stomach hurts NOW! But I have to go to work and deliver my newspapers. My boss won't even let me lay down and see how I feel later.
joe
posted by Mr. Liberty at 3:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home