Get Your Pap Smear(ed)

Today is "National Pap Smear Day" (or "Schmear" as they call it in New York) and I want to encourage our women readers to go out and get one. This is an important thing and you must understand that...even though...ok, I don't know what a Pap Smear is. Just jot that down in your book there of things Joe does not know.

OK. Now tell me, is a Pap Smear a procedure where some type of medicine is applied to the ladies "pap", or does the doctor smear "pap" onto the lady (with her complete cooperation) to alleviate some kind of dire condition?

This is an important day, and, girls...take it seriously. Have your ??? smeared with a half a gallon of pap or smear your pap today. You'll be glad you did. And, truthfully, I don't think it makes that much difference. But I am not a doctor.

By the way, there must be a male thing that we can take off on. Like...like, say a coffee enema. Why would a man waste good coffee on THAT? And are you allowed to add cream and sugar to your most personal of enemas?

Now the men and women are even.

JP