Stocking Up!
I just went to the store to stock up on essentials and it was a madhouse! Actually, I went in through the wrong door at the Dollar Store, and entered the real madhouse by mistake. They're right next store. I can't blame them for being crazy, what with living right next to the Dollar Store, and only getting 50 cents a week allowance. But what can I do? I am not responsible for them. Besides, a real buxom nurse lives in the house with them, and they could live off of her in case they ran out of food.
I picked up some canned meat at the $ store, but forgot to get a new can opener. The old one ran off with the corkscrew. If things get really bad here, I can always crash the cans against the pay toilet down the hall (mine is covered in fur and it wouldn't open any cans) and get the food out that way. That's only one of a number of ways to open a can without a can opener. One other way is to stomp on it with your foot until the meat begins to ooze out, and then you can suck on the can.
Then I went to the big grocery store where they charge more than a dollar for everything and got a cooked chicken. Six dollars and forty nine cents was the price! I'll bet that chicken was cheaper alive. But he probably wouldn't have sold himself to me, chickens having no use for money.
Of course I bought peanut butter and bread. I'll probably eat all of that (I love it so!) before Ophelia even strikes. If that happens I'll start in on the other food. But I will miss my peanut butter sandwiches, eating them on the roof of my apartment, or hiding in the pay toilet in the hall so that fellow apartment dwellers won't know what I have. If you see someone on TV eating a peanut butter sandwich on his roof, begging the president for help, it's probably me. I'll wave.
And of course I got lots of pop and my lottery tickets for three days forward, just in case the stores here lose electricity, and I can't buy one. The jackpot is 250 million for Friday, and I do not want to miss that! I can buy my own hurricane with that kind of money.
More updates as they occur.
Joe Postove
I picked up some canned meat at the $ store, but forgot to get a new can opener. The old one ran off with the corkscrew. If things get really bad here, I can always crash the cans against the pay toilet down the hall (mine is covered in fur and it wouldn't open any cans) and get the food out that way. That's only one of a number of ways to open a can without a can opener. One other way is to stomp on it with your foot until the meat begins to ooze out, and then you can suck on the can.
Then I went to the big grocery store where they charge more than a dollar for everything and got a cooked chicken. Six dollars and forty nine cents was the price! I'll bet that chicken was cheaper alive. But he probably wouldn't have sold himself to me, chickens having no use for money.
Of course I bought peanut butter and bread. I'll probably eat all of that (I love it so!) before Ophelia even strikes. If that happens I'll start in on the other food. But I will miss my peanut butter sandwiches, eating them on the roof of my apartment, or hiding in the pay toilet in the hall so that fellow apartment dwellers won't know what I have. If you see someone on TV eating a peanut butter sandwich on his roof, begging the president for help, it's probably me. I'll wave.
And of course I got lots of pop and my lottery tickets for three days forward, just in case the stores here lose electricity, and I can't buy one. The jackpot is 250 million for Friday, and I do not want to miss that! I can buy my own hurricane with that kind of money.
More updates as they occur.
Joe Postove
posted by Mr. Liberty at 11:26 AM
3 Comments:
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I will try this again, maybe this time what I want to say will be what I type. :-)
I have been reading and enjoying your blog ever since I stumbled across it a few weeks ago. I really like your style and sense of humor. I just wanted to let you know that I set up a link to your blog from mine so the 2½ people who read my blog can find yours. You can check it out if you want. Keep up the great writing.
Winthrop
Thanks very much for that Winthrop.
Be forewarned, however, that I can slink back to mediocrity at any moment, without notice to our patrons.
Encouragement like yours is really a very important thing and it is really appreciated.
Having said that, I say no more! :>)
Joe
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