Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Tom Snyder RIP

Tom Snyder died yesterday. He was host of "Tomorrow" on NBC for 8 years, every night at 1 am. And though I had school the next day, Tom Snyder charmed me into staying up most nights (all the way through Carson's Book guests) and watching his parade of the interesting, the forgotten, the weird, and the wise.

Snyder was not an intellectual, but he was the best of broadcasters and interviewers; he listened to the answers to his questions. And though he may have not known anything about a guest before a show, he knew how to draw information out of him.

I remember, perhaps most of all, his late 70's interview with Ayn Rand. Rand, by then, had long been wary of the media, who she felt (justifiably so) misrepresented her and her writing. But she gave Tom an hour of her time.

Tom Snyder had just the right touch with Rand. She was ready to be attacked, defamed and smeared, as she had been so many times over the years. But he figuratively took her by the hand, and caressed and charmed this old lady philosopher, who by the end of the hour looked as if she had fallen love with Tom Snyder. He had treated her with respect and dignity. And this giant of the 20th century was unused to that coming from the media.

Tom would bring on every type of person possible. I first saw old time radio stars on "Tomorrow". And from Wendy O. Williams to Charles Manson, and the cream in between, the 8 years of the "Tomorrow" show was better than almost anything on the air.

Tom deserved a longer and better career. But he did us a great service. He respected his audience enough to ask serious questions of serious people and funny questions of funny people.

I'll end on this; Tom once asked Edgar Bergen why he moved his lips when he was performing his ventriloquism. Bergen replied that he wanted to be honest with the audience about where the sound was coming from.

I miss Tom Snyder already.

Joe Postove

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Dick Cheney Gets Some Heart Stuff

The docs are going to replace Dick Cheney's batteries in his pacemaker today, and see the only possible complication being in finding the VP's heart.

The plans are for George Bush to assume the Presidency while Dick is chloroformed and layed out at the morgue, where the surgery is being performed, just in case.

Why take a chance?

Joe

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Five Polyps Removed From Presidents Tush

Five polyps were taken out of President Bush's rear end today, as doctors attempted to clear his intestines for a new interstate.

The polyps appeared to be tiny and harmless, doctors report. However, the White House said they will be sent to Walter Reed hospital to set for awhile, then to Guantanamo for interrogation and recreation.

For now, according to Tony Snow, who has also had the ass pipecleaner job, the polyps will be classified as enemy combatants, and not prisoners of war. They will also be quarantined in the asshole section of the prison.

Vice President Cheney was acting president for a little more than two hours. However, he did not get a chance to start anything, because the batteries for his pacemaker went dead.

Now we await results on the President's ass report.

Joe

President Bush To Be Put Asleep

Dick Cheney will take over the presidency for a few hours today as President Bush will be put to sleep for his weekly colonoscopy. How anyone will be able to tell the difference about any of the above is inconclusive.

This colonoscopy will be a little more invasive than the last few the president has enjoyed so much. The doctors plan to stick the steel rod used for the procedure all the way up, as far as it will go, simply to see how much actual shit the president contains.

The colonoscopy guys have said they expect loads.

Meanwhile, back at the White House, President Cheney will attack Iran, Syria, North Korea...and Israel for good measure. He hates Jews, and figures to get them while he wipes out the rest of our enemies. Dick never saw "The Godfather", and perhaps doesn't realize what unexpected effects "wiping out one's enemies" can have.

But that's Dick!

And today, we'll have a final diagnoses of just how much shit George Bush is holding. Also, if they can't get the steel rod out after the procedure, the doctors plan to stuff it up more, closer to the brain to check on them.

Joe Postove

Thursday, July 19, 2007

This Is Not A Post

However, you may treat it that way.

Thankyou,

Joseph Postove