When The Moon Is In The Seventh House

I think the planets are aligning, getting really close together this summer. Enough exciting things are happening to cause me to believe that we are drugged up with that Fifth Dimension song.

The newspaper said today that chewing gum is America's favorite snack. This comes in the same week as the 40th anniversary of the Slurpie. Americans got guts. When it comes to the middle of the road, we drive a Hummer right down the center and take the whole thing for ourselves. We are radical moderates in this country.

We like our steak medium, our chicken fried, our politicians informally brain dead, and we prefer that our children be schooled, not educated.

Let's face it. We're the original white meat. We don't even have fun gangsters anymore. Ok, maybe it never cooked like the Godfather films, but at least we had a few Don Corleone wannabes. Now all the graft is in Washington or Wall Street and while that ain't small potatos, its like watching Merv Griffin moon the audience. One is enough.

I'm saying that we Americans are too provincial. But that doesn't bother most people. It sounds like you believe in good government. Or brushing your teeth after every meal.

What we need is a good thrashing, now and then. Not a terrorist attack, you idiot, but a creative cutting off at the knees, that would force us to take a look at ourselves and change.

Any country that chews gum as its favorite hobby and celebrates Slurpies 40th anniversary could use a comeuppance or two.

Joe Postove