Dear Santa
Dear Santa,
As the Christmas holidays come down upon us, and Jews such as myself hide out at potato pancake parties, I still expect some nice things when you make your secondary run for the Jewish children who proclaim a one day allegiance to Christianity.I would like a new bottle of milk to replace the one I broke over the gas station attendants head because he wouldn't redeem it, saying they only took pop bottles.
Also, I need 365 dimes to cover me for my pay toilet here in the apartment house that my landlord was so generous to provide. I may not use all of them. I promise to donate the unused ones to the "March Of Dimes" to help children around the world who sometimes have to walk nearly half a block to the nearest pay stall.
Please forgive me for writing a letter to Jesus this year. I certainly don't want the two of you fighting over me. But I figured that if he was going to return this year, maybe he could drop off the presents and save you a trip. Also, please don't think I want any Hanukkah junk. It's a neat holiday, full of history, symbolism and Jewish pride. But the presents (socks, chocolate coins, oranges, etc...) really stink. So could you shove an extra X-Box into your bag, and just drop it at my apartment, the one across from the gas station, with the new pay toilet. You don't even have to stop, I'll try my best to catch it.
My best to your wife and the elves. I don't have any cookies, but since you're just gonna drop the X-Box and not actually stop here, you wouldn't need them anyway. I'll send those extra dimes in your name (if I have any...I don't know what I'm going to eat this year, so I don't know how much time I'll be sitting on the WC).
Merry Christmas, and remember I love you with all my heart.
Little Joey Postove (8 years old)
As the Christmas holidays come down upon us, and Jews such as myself hide out at potato pancake parties, I still expect some nice things when you make your secondary run for the Jewish children who proclaim a one day allegiance to Christianity.I would like a new bottle of milk to replace the one I broke over the gas station attendants head because he wouldn't redeem it, saying they only took pop bottles.
Also, I need 365 dimes to cover me for my pay toilet here in the apartment house that my landlord was so generous to provide. I may not use all of them. I promise to donate the unused ones to the "March Of Dimes" to help children around the world who sometimes have to walk nearly half a block to the nearest pay stall.
Please forgive me for writing a letter to Jesus this year. I certainly don't want the two of you fighting over me. But I figured that if he was going to return this year, maybe he could drop off the presents and save you a trip. Also, please don't think I want any Hanukkah junk. It's a neat holiday, full of history, symbolism and Jewish pride. But the presents (socks, chocolate coins, oranges, etc...) really stink. So could you shove an extra X-Box into your bag, and just drop it at my apartment, the one across from the gas station, with the new pay toilet. You don't even have to stop, I'll try my best to catch it.
My best to your wife and the elves. I don't have any cookies, but since you're just gonna drop the X-Box and not actually stop here, you wouldn't need them anyway. I'll send those extra dimes in your name (if I have any...I don't know what I'm going to eat this year, so I don't know how much time I'll be sitting on the WC).
Merry Christmas, and remember I love you with all my heart.
Little Joey Postove (8 years old)
posted by Mr. Liberty at 11:39 AM
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