The Two Faces Of She

After they gave that French lady a new face, they expected her to be responsible for daily upkeep (washing it, powdering, lip wax, etc...) but now it seems she has taken up her old habit of smoking cigarettes again.

This wouldn't be so bad, except that the doctors gave her an extra lip (as kind of a house of horrors beauty mark. French doctors do not lack a sense of humors!) and smoking with three lips is not only difficult, but painful. She balances the smokes on her top lip, and then flips it into the air so that her bottom two lips can grasp and suck. Grasp and suck. That's what they say in France. And it's terrible.

The doctors say that smoking, while not only bad for her general health, is burning holes in some of her cheeks and her tongue, which now resides on the outside of her mouth, near her middle eye. She is taking a great risk, they say, that could hurt her face and cause some of the extra parts they installed to fall off.

So we'll have to wait and see. Her newest boob, adjacent to the second, more industrial eyelash appears to be doing fine.

Good luck, French face transplant lady!

Joe Postove