Selling Apples
Because of the financial crisis, I am now selling juicy red delicious apples, just outside my pay toilets at the corner of Church and Nebraska Streets in downtown Norfolk.
I see this as a temporary thing to supplement my income because more people are peeing and shitting behind those big garbage cans at the 7/11, and into paper bags and then wildly throwing them into the public square for the birds (they eat that stuff..can you believe it?).
My main income comes from the toilet base of my empire and with more people cheating and loosening their bowels, and pee pipes for free, and forgetting their responsibility to our fellow citizens to keep a clean city, I have to sell these here apples.
The big juicy ones that I wash in the toilet (after flushing of course...what do you think I am, some kind of criminal or perv?) are 5 cents. The smaller, mid-sized apples, about the size of a nice ladies bosom are 3 cents, and the lowest cost apples, which are made from shit, pee pee, and apples juice, then rolled into a ball to look like an apple are only 1 cent. They are that tasty (I tasted them) and they taste somewhat like chicken filled with shit. However, for a penny, what do you want? I do not control the apple market in this sector of Virginia, therefore, I have to compete in the marketplace. I am being very honest with you, naturally.
I am also considering adding lemonade to my apple cart. But I don't know if I can afford the real stuff. So it may be made from other things.
I blame the government.
Joey Postove
I see this as a temporary thing to supplement my income because more people are peeing and shitting behind those big garbage cans at the 7/11, and into paper bags and then wildly throwing them into the public square for the birds (they eat that stuff..can you believe it?).
My main income comes from the toilet base of my empire and with more people cheating and loosening their bowels, and pee pipes for free, and forgetting their responsibility to our fellow citizens to keep a clean city, I have to sell these here apples.
The big juicy ones that I wash in the toilet (after flushing of course...what do you think I am, some kind of criminal or perv?) are 5 cents. The smaller, mid-sized apples, about the size of a nice ladies bosom are 3 cents, and the lowest cost apples, which are made from shit, pee pee, and apples juice, then rolled into a ball to look like an apple are only 1 cent. They are that tasty (I tasted them) and they taste somewhat like chicken filled with shit. However, for a penny, what do you want? I do not control the apple market in this sector of Virginia, therefore, I have to compete in the marketplace. I am being very honest with you, naturally.
I am also considering adding lemonade to my apple cart. But I don't know if I can afford the real stuff. So it may be made from other things.
I blame the government.
Joey Postove
posted by Mr. Liberty at 1:03 PM
3 Comments:
So, we know how libertarianism goes. But how are 'things' these days, JP?
And what are we going to do about N Korea?
Hope you are good.
~p
Been out of sorts lately, phil.
Hoping to find my stone groove and get Stella back.
Maybe I should change her ot Libertarianism and Tea?
Huh?
Joe
ot?
To.
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