BM Now 40 Years Old!
Tomorrow, March 14th 2010, is the 40th anniversary of my BM. It was on that date in 1970, I went all out, and became the man that I am today (I am so ashamed).
BM, for the Christ Lovers is of course my "Bar Mitzvah" where a young Jewish gentlemen trains for years and years so that when he turns 13 he can be proclaimed a man, and according to Jewish tradition his dad is supposed to buy him his first whore. And of course we train to sing a portion of the Torah (Judaism's most holy book...other than "das Capital") in order to become a full member of the congregation, liable for all duties and responsibilities that all other men in the shul undertake.
I just took a shit. I exploded because all of the above is so full of shit, I was about to come out the ears. and that ain't a Jewish custom. I think my folks actually forgot it was coming up on the time when I should start studying for the big day. I was eleven before I started Hebrew school, so I had two years to learn my entire Torah portion, when the other kids in the class were starting when they were six or so. So I had a lot of catching up to do.
I didn't care. I knew I would learn the Hebrew (I could read it, but I didn't know a word it said) and be ready for the big day.
It's about the money. In 1970, I dragged in about two grand, which for the times wasn't bad (wasn't Neil Sedaka money, but my Dad was a locksmith, and we really didn't have any money in the family). So I got up on the Jew stage (the Bima) and started speaking in tongues as far as I was concerned. I was thinking of the luncheon after I finished, and then the party at the house that evening. I was now a man.
My sister Toby killed herself about 6 months before my Bar-Mitzvah. She was 27, the smartest and most loving member of my family, and she was not there. I made a speech in English at the luncheon about how I missed her so. I did. We all did.
What started as a money and get it over with thing, became all for my sister.
Because Toby wasn't there.
Joe
BM, for the Christ Lovers is of course my "Bar Mitzvah" where a young Jewish gentlemen trains for years and years so that when he turns 13 he can be proclaimed a man, and according to Jewish tradition his dad is supposed to buy him his first whore. And of course we train to sing a portion of the Torah (Judaism's most holy book...other than "das Capital") in order to become a full member of the congregation, liable for all duties and responsibilities that all other men in the shul undertake.
I just took a shit. I exploded because all of the above is so full of shit, I was about to come out the ears. and that ain't a Jewish custom. I think my folks actually forgot it was coming up on the time when I should start studying for the big day. I was eleven before I started Hebrew school, so I had two years to learn my entire Torah portion, when the other kids in the class were starting when they were six or so. So I had a lot of catching up to do.
I didn't care. I knew I would learn the Hebrew (I could read it, but I didn't know a word it said) and be ready for the big day.
It's about the money. In 1970, I dragged in about two grand, which for the times wasn't bad (wasn't Neil Sedaka money, but my Dad was a locksmith, and we really didn't have any money in the family). So I got up on the Jew stage (the Bima) and started speaking in tongues as far as I was concerned. I was thinking of the luncheon after I finished, and then the party at the house that evening. I was now a man.
My sister Toby killed herself about 6 months before my Bar-Mitzvah. She was 27, the smartest and most loving member of my family, and she was not there. I made a speech in English at the luncheon about how I missed her so. I did. We all did.
What started as a money and get it over with thing, became all for my sister.
Because Toby wasn't there.
Joe
posted by Mr. Liberty at 10:42 AM
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