New Bread
Don't worry if you haven't heard about my newest product on the market. We're moving it out slowly to see just how much interest there is amongst the little un's and if they would buy this product for themselves and their dysfunctional families. After all, me, the king of Pay Toilets in my sector should put out new food items now and then. I'm getting it both ways, in and out. Hot dog! And that ain't a metaphor.
Starting next week, I will be offering "Joe's Country Crunch Bread". I put quote marks around it so that no one can steal my ideas, like some guy, years ago, who took my invention of the home rectum set to check your tushy meat in case you thought something fishy might have gotten in there. My home set would allow you to fish it out with a specially made hook, that latched onto your little thing back there that flips around, and you would get whatever was in there, out. I don't want no more stealing of my ideas.
So here's my idea. "Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is fresh, but it tastes really hard and crunchy, like two day old bread. I like two day old bread, and most of the people that I associate with are with me on this. But, of course, I don't associate with many people (someone said my mind was chopped liver) but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I've got a new product on the market, and you're gonna eat it, and love it.
"Joe's Country Crunch Bread" comes in packs of two, four and six. They are already smeared with peanut butter and jelly, to save you Moms the hassle of getting up after a night of hard drinking and loving with a strange man, to fix your dumb kids lunch.
Just set Joe's Bread out on the kitchen counter, with a sign for the kids that they should eat this at school. If, however, your kids can't read, then just stick it in the toilet, so that when he or she makes morning plop plops, They'll get the idea.
Isn't this fabulous? The money is rolling in now, and I have to say that I'm doing a service for the community in rolling out this new sack of bread already jellied and buttered. I mean, look, what the hell do you want? A five course dinner, with demitasse, and olives and expensive shit like that? C'mon. Go my way, and just get the sack of bread (the 6 pack) and you can sleep till 12 noon. What do you need to get up at 6 to fix the kids lunch when you've had such a hard night? Get with me, babe, and we'll rule the world (of my new stink bread).
Now, Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is available at all Joe Postove Pay Toilets, Whore Houses, Shoe Shine Stands, Beauty Parlors, Casino's, and...oh...did I remind you about the whore houses? You can get my new bread and MORE at one of my prostitutes stalls, plus relax. I'm not calling the police on you or anyone else. What you feed your kids is your business.
I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when Merv is on.
Joe Postove
Starting next week, I will be offering "Joe's Country Crunch Bread". I put quote marks around it so that no one can steal my ideas, like some guy, years ago, who took my invention of the home rectum set to check your tushy meat in case you thought something fishy might have gotten in there. My home set would allow you to fish it out with a specially made hook, that latched onto your little thing back there that flips around, and you would get whatever was in there, out. I don't want no more stealing of my ideas.
So here's my idea. "Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is fresh, but it tastes really hard and crunchy, like two day old bread. I like two day old bread, and most of the people that I associate with are with me on this. But, of course, I don't associate with many people (someone said my mind was chopped liver) but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I've got a new product on the market, and you're gonna eat it, and love it.
"Joe's Country Crunch Bread" comes in packs of two, four and six. They are already smeared with peanut butter and jelly, to save you Moms the hassle of getting up after a night of hard drinking and loving with a strange man, to fix your dumb kids lunch.
Just set Joe's Bread out on the kitchen counter, with a sign for the kids that they should eat this at school. If, however, your kids can't read, then just stick it in the toilet, so that when he or she makes morning plop plops, They'll get the idea.
Isn't this fabulous? The money is rolling in now, and I have to say that I'm doing a service for the community in rolling out this new sack of bread already jellied and buttered. I mean, look, what the hell do you want? A five course dinner, with demitasse, and olives and expensive shit like that? C'mon. Go my way, and just get the sack of bread (the 6 pack) and you can sleep till 12 noon. What do you need to get up at 6 to fix the kids lunch when you've had such a hard night? Get with me, babe, and we'll rule the world (of my new stink bread).
Now, Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is available at all Joe Postove Pay Toilets, Whore Houses, Shoe Shine Stands, Beauty Parlors, Casino's, and...oh...did I remind you about the whore houses? You can get my new bread and MORE at one of my prostitutes stalls, plus relax. I'm not calling the police on you or anyone else. What you feed your kids is your business.
I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when Merv is on.
Joe Postove
posted by Mr. Liberty at 1:06 PM
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