So Try On This New Thing Here

Now that DeathCare is the law of the land, and Republican attempts to squash it through parliamentary maneuvers won't in my best guess gain any traction, we gotta do what we gotta do as individuals.

Me? I'll try it on, and see how she fits. I have very low hopes, but being a libertarian does not make me a chump. I wish this unamerican thingy would just disappear, but for now we little un's have to take our lumps (and get our lumps checked out for free by our new "Good Government Doctors").

I want a lot of stuff. I need things lengthened, straightened out, put back, removed, loved, pumped up, and whatever else I can order from the new federal menu of medical delights. I don't think I need it yet, but I'm going to have a face lift and breast enhancement surgery to start off. Who knows when I'll start to sag, and what kind of person I'll be in five years, when we may yet beat back this monster and return to private medicine. I say, why take a chance? I may never have the money for a full facial and designer breasts again. Right now, I'm not sure what I'll do with with my new bosoms, but I do know I'll never leave home again. As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again. I hope they come loaded with chocolate milk. I CANNOT get pregnant, however! I'm not ready for that, yet.

As I posted up there some, I want a bigger, thicker, more reliable penis. I do not find this to be in contradiction with my new breasts. I can be the same full man that I am now, just with the little extras that DeathCare will provide. In fact, I'm thinking, that perhaps I should thank the President for his willingness to go out and get the little extras that will make life a little easier around the house. That, and a woman who appreciates a 38D man.

I want a big ass tv, and a smaller ass. Smaller feet, like my Mom's. Less talk, more music. Free Pap Smear (with extra Pap!), A bigger, thicker...oh yeah...more hair on my head, and less on my rear end. I suppose the smaller ass I will get will take care of that. I would hate to have all the hair I have there now to stay on when the doctor makes me smaller.

I would like to be smoother. Not only in body but in spirit. I need the guidance of a good government to teach me right from wrong, left from far left, and why God didn't make me better looking.

Sure, I realize all of this will cost money that we don't yet have. I expect the taxes on my pay toilet operation to increase, as well as fees on puppy shit, barnstorming hermaphrodite baseball teams, toe rings (the tax on that is already too high, but what are you gonna do?) and other fees and taxes on all the good stuff. I didn't ask for this new experiment in medicine, but now that it's here, we have to dance with the one we brung.

But the fight goes on, fellow libertarians!

Joey (Bosoms) Postove

And So It Is.....

President Obama signed the Death Bill into law today, but states around the nation are gearing up to sue the Feds on many counts, and this might be the start of something big.

But I am so doubtful sometimes. We the people have allowed those who love "the people" but hate persons, to move the leftist agenda, bit by bit, step by step, a little dash here, some salting there, to the big pot where they make a very good communist stew. And now...should we be surprised that we are the ones being cooked?

The great honest socialist and anti-communist Norman Thomas who ran for president six times said in 1948, after quiting American politics: "The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened."

Death Care did not suddenly occur in the middle of the night, and pop up and wake us in the morning to say "you now belong to us". This was a long time coming. It DOES NOT mean that we who still hang on to our ideals and will work and cry, and do just about anything to reverse this abomination (a word I hate to use...but this one time, ok?) are giving in. Even though this is, for now...FOR NOW...the law of the land. If anything the conservatives and libertarians in this country have got to quadruple our efforts to not only take this country back to liberty and the great ideas of the founders, but to stop, at every political intersection, the agenda of tyranny and hate of the left and the sloppy moderates who will blow you for a quarter if it gets them reelected.

I know that tv is great. X-Boxes are cool. I guess "American Idol" is a gas. But our nation is slipping away from us. Faster than I could have ever expected. What we are losing is not the real estate that is the USA, but the idea. We are a country founded on ideas, not conquest, royalty, or religion. And the idea is the freedom of man. We gave up a lot of it Sunday night. And the socialist gropers are far from through.

If you read my blog, I'm talking to the ones who stumble upon me once in a while, I often write in the absurd. Let me assure you, I was not born this way. My absurdest view of things has come straight from my education in the government schools, and my exposure to too many people who are busy with TVLand.


You either fuck TVLand, or you are fucked, my good friends. All my life I have heard conservatives say that if we allow this law or that law to pass then we might move closer to a less free society, or if this passes, we may be in real trouble. Those times are over, babe. WE ARE THERE! Put your good pants on and start thinking about what it means to be an American. We are in real trouble, right now.

Would you rather be an American or be free? I choose freedom. That is American

More to come...


Joe Postove

Into The Abyss

This week the Democrats in ratsville are putting Full Johnson's on wavering party members to try to get them to embrace the Death Care package.

Lyndon Johnson (one the few presidents to have a body part named after him) when confronted by a Republican or especially a recalcitrant Democrat, would bring that person close in to old LBJ's body, like a big Texas hug, and before they knew it, the congressman was in Lyndon's death grip. This was the Full Johnson; where the big, tall, fat, president would enclose the not yet cooperating politician into his loving arms, and then squeeze. Not enough to kill, but enough that the 36th president of the United States meant business. "You see things my way now, senator, am I right on that? Now you go on and vote right, y'hear?"

Dear Leader don't play that, but he and his associates in the crime capital of the world, Washington, D.C. are putting on the pressure on just the handful of Democrats who could make this bill law, or bring it down. What with rides in Air Force One, lunch in the oval office, skinny dippin' in the White House pool, perhaps even a wink or two about how this or that pol could be set up in Vegas real nice, the leadership of the party is going all out.

They realize that they have damned themselves to a big loss of members in the November elections. The folks who voted for Obama as punishment for the Republican lies and corruption during the Bush reign of terror, I do not think, ladies, intended to install Leon Trotsky into the White House. So if the Democrats can squeeze this bill through, which will change our country from a great power that has lost its way, to another France or Holland, albeit a big'un, they can wait this whole thing out. And when the Republicans fuck up down the line (doubts? Check the internet) and the next generation of Social Democrats get the big stick again, they can build on all of what they have already stuck the country with....until they have turned us into the "United Socialist States Of America" And then where are we? Why do they want to destroy the greatest nation in the world? Why do they hate us? I hope they don't have pilot licenses.

Christ, and the rest of the world is discovering the greatness of capitalism, just as we may be about to ditch it.

Do I hear the boat whistle for The Cayman islands? We've got till Sunday. At least that's when they think they'll have the votes.

Make them stop. Please make them stop!

Joe Postove

A Death In The Family

Ron Lundy, a legendary dj at the best radio station that there ever was (WABC-New York) has passed away.

You can read posts about this great talent and very nice man at the New York Radio Message Board, and my post to the board, here:

RIP, Radio Man. So much can and will be said about this great talent, so I can only add... my little bit. Ron Lundy, on the beach, in the car, in a motel, at my cousin's house, anywhere that great distinctive voice was heard was more than a dj. He was GOOD COMPANY.

Hello Luv was his trademark or catchphrase, but I never tired of it. I guess Ron wasn't a "personality" in the way Bruce and Dan are, but he was without doubt, in the tippitytop of the old pop crop of friends we invite into our space. Ron made me smile. He didn't have to tell a joke or get off a fast one liner. It's worth saying again. Ron Lundy was good company.

He has been missed for years now, since his retirement from CBS-FM. The world was a happier place when "hello luv" came out of my radio. 75 is too young, but Ron, if you're watching us from somewhere today, know that those who listened to you for years, even though they may have never seen your face, loved you. Sympathy to his family, his best friend, Dan Ingram, and millions of fans who smiled when he talked. I love you Radio Man.

Joe Postove

BM Now 40 Years Old!

Tomorrow, March 14th 2010, is the 40th anniversary of my BM. It was on that date in 1970, I went all out, and became the man that I am today (I am so ashamed).

BM, for the Christ Lovers is of course my "Bar Mitzvah" where a young Jewish gentlemen trains for years and years so that when he turns 13 he can be proclaimed a man, and according to Jewish tradition his dad is supposed to buy him his first whore. And of course we train to sing a portion of the Torah (Judaism's most holy book...other than "das Capital") in order to become a full member of the congregation, liable for all duties and responsibilities that all other men in the shul undertake.

I just took a shit. I exploded because all of the above is so full of shit, I was about to come out the ears. and that ain't a Jewish custom. I think my folks actually forgot it was coming up on the time when I should start studying for the big day. I was eleven before I started Hebrew school, so I had two years to learn my entire Torah portion, when the other kids in the class were starting when they were six or so. So I had a lot of catching up to do.

I didn't care. I knew I would learn the Hebrew (I could read it, but I didn't know a word it said) and be ready for the big day.

It's about the money. In 1970, I dragged in about two grand, which for the times wasn't bad (wasn't Neil Sedaka money, but my Dad was a locksmith, and we really didn't have any money in the family). So I got up on the Jew stage (the Bima) and started speaking in tongues as far as I was concerned. I was thinking of the luncheon after I finished, and then the party at the house that evening. I was now a man.

My sister Toby killed herself about 6 months before my Bar-Mitzvah. She was 27, the smartest and most loving member of my family, and she was not there. I made a speech in English at the luncheon about how I missed her so. I did. We all did.

What started as a money and get it over with thing, became all for my sister.

Because Toby wasn't there.

Joe

Health Care

The old man (old man Obama) is really beating the bushes this week to get the health care bill passed. I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die. I'm a young guy and when those government doctors get their hands on me, they might turn me into a woman, or give me an un-greased, unwanted, colon exam with the big old steel rods that homosexual doctors used in the fifties just to try to turn us. Ain't turning me. Especially with some old army doctor.

I don't need no stinking rod up my ass (just think how much it'll stink when they pry it out!). I just want to live my life, with lots of money and books, a wide screen tv, ice cream in the ice box, and maybe a woman (a gentle understanding one) once in a while, just to keep my ball(s) in the game.

But I want the State to stay the hell out of my medicine cabinet. You already know, from reading my former posts, that all this is, is a "good first step" to what they really want: SINGLE PAYER SOCIALIST MEDICINE!

This shaft is bad enough. Keep them out of my body (fingers, whatever they decide to put in there if the Dear Leader gets his way) keep them out of my books, my speech, what I put in my body (needless to say, also whatever I take out of there too) and stay in Washington and try, for the first time in too long to just run the government. Isn't that hard enough without you people taking on the whole fucking world? Run the streets, cops, military, courts, the stuff that at least you exhibit some idea of how it's done. Leave my ass and all my goodies, sick or well, to me and my chosen caregiver.

It's going to be a tight squeeze here, dudes. I have, as you know, razzed the Republicans for years for their dropping their goal of smaller government, and replacing it with "we can do that too, just better". You know you can't, and that's why we punished you in '08. Now the Republicans can show us if indeed they are the party of small, and do everything they can, inside and outside the law to prevent this heinous Death Bill from becoming law.

Republicans: This is your last chance.

Joe Postove

Off The Edge

When the news says that the federal budget is heading for a train wreck with reality, I think to myself "haven't I heard this song before"? Are we not into the throes of a nation, not soon, but right this minute, making gurgling sounds as the ship of state dives head first into the unknown (unknown being the whole world holding our debt, coming to cash in and finding the only thing in the Treasury Building is the nightwatchman from the Jack Benny Show)?

Dear Leader's proposed 2011 budget adds about 10 trillion and change to the national debt (minus the 12 billion in cuts) over the next decade. Now I know that our great leaders are doing all they can to...to...do something about this ballooning debt. Their words, not mine.

We have heard for my entire life (which spans from sometime ago until now) that unless we get the national debt and the budget process under control, we're in for it. Well, forget about that, we're in it, now and deep. And I really don't see a way out. The prognosticators on the tube and the left over magazines in the barbershop say we gotta do SOMETHING!

And then they go on to say that there isn't much we can do. After all, a big piece of every years budget is already claimed by the old and sick and stupid and dirty and friends who do not have access to a good pay toilet, so they use the government stalls, which are carriers of disease and the mail (at least the mailman won't be able to use the WC on Saturday any more soon. The Post Office says they want to cut Saturday delivery...at least the bills won't depress my already sunk weekend).

What can we do, folk(s)? We are now hostages of our own government. The same government who promised so much when they took and spent the money in the first place. AND NOW they want more so they can kill us with their love of us and the devil's health care.

The radio talkers have been saying for years that if we keep on spending the way we have, trouble is on the way. Trouble is here, babe.

And she's a bitch.

Joe Postove

New Bread

Don't worry if you haven't heard about my newest product on the market. We're moving it out slowly to see just how much interest there is amongst the little un's and if they would buy this product for themselves and their dysfunctional families. After all, me, the king of Pay Toilets in my sector should put out new food items now and then. I'm getting it both ways, in and out. Hot dog! And that ain't a metaphor.

Starting next week, I will be offering "Joe's Country Crunch Bread". I put quote marks around it so that no one can steal my ideas, like some guy, years ago, who took my invention of the home rectum set to check your tushy meat in case you thought something fishy might have gotten in there. My home set would allow you to fish it out with a specially made hook, that latched onto your little thing back there that flips around, and you would get whatever was in there, out. I don't want no more stealing of my ideas.

So here's my idea. "Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is fresh, but it tastes really hard and crunchy, like two day old bread. I like two day old bread, and most of the people that I associate with are with me on this. But, of course, I don't associate with many people (someone said my mind was chopped liver) but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I've got a new product on the market, and you're gonna eat it, and love it.

"Joe's Country Crunch Bread" comes in packs of two, four and six. They are already smeared with peanut butter and jelly, to save you Moms the hassle of getting up after a night of hard drinking and loving with a strange man, to fix your dumb kids lunch.

Just set Joe's Bread out on the kitchen counter, with a sign for the kids that they should eat this at school. If, however, your kids can't read, then just stick it in the toilet, so that when he or she makes morning plop plops, They'll get the idea.

Isn't this fabulous? The money is rolling in now, and I have to say that I'm doing a service for the community in rolling out this new sack of bread already jellied and buttered. I mean, look, what the hell do you want? A five course dinner, with demitasse, and olives and expensive shit like that? C'mon. Go my way, and just get the sack of bread (the 6 pack) and you can sleep till 12 noon. What do you need to get up at 6 to fix the kids lunch when you've had such a hard night? Get with me, babe, and we'll rule the world (of my new stink bread).

Now, Joe's Country Crunch Bread" is available at all Joe Postove Pay Toilets, Whore Houses, Shoe Shine Stands, Beauty Parlors, Casino's, and...oh...did I remind you about the whore houses? You can get my new bread and MORE at one of my prostitutes stalls, plus relax. I'm not calling the police on you or anyone else. What you feed your kids is your business.

I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when Merv is on.

Joe Postove